"My project of uſefulneſs ended not here; I determined to ſpeak to the attorney; he frequently paid me compliments. His character did not intimidate me; but, imagining that Peggy muſt be miſtaken, and that no man could turn a deaf ear to ſuch a tale of complicated diſtreſs, I determined to walk to the town with Mary the next morning, and requeſt him to wait for the rent, and keep my ſecret, till my uncle's return.
"My repoſe was ſweet; and, waking with the firſt dawn of day, I bounded to Mary's cottage. What charms do not a light heart ſpread over nature! Every bird that twittered in a buſh, every flower that enlivened the hedge, ſeemed placed there to awaken me to rapture—yes; to rapture. The preſent moment was full fraught with happineſs; and on futurity I beſtowed not a thought, excepting to anticipate my ſucceſs with the attorney.
"This man of the world, with roſy face and ſimpering features, received me politely, nay kindly; liſtened with complacency to my remonſtrances, though he ſcarcely heeded Mary's tears. I did not then ſuſpect, that my eloquence was in my complexion, the bluſh of ſeventeen, or that, in a world where humanity to women is the characteriſtic of advancing civilization, the beauty of a young girl was ſo much more intereſting than the diſtreſs of an old one. Preſſing my hand, he promiſed to let Peggy remain in the houſe as long as I wiſhed.—I more than returned the preſſure—I was ſo grateful and ſo happy. Emboldened by my innocent warmth, he then kiſſed me—and I did not draw back—I took it for a kiſs of charity.
"Gay as a lark, I went to dine at Mr. Venables'. I had previouſly obtained five ſhillings from my father, towards re-clothing the poor children of my care, and prevailed on my mother to take one of the girls into the houſe, whom I determined to teach to work and read.
"After dinner, when the younger part of the circle retired to the muſic room, I recounted with energy my tale; that is, I mentioned Peggy's diſtreſs, without hinting at the ſteps I had taken to relieve her. Miſs Venables gave me half-a-crown; the heir five ſhillings; but George ſat unmoved. I was cruelly diſtreſſed by the diſappointment—I ſcarcely could remain on my chair; and, could I have got out of the room unperceived, I ſhould have flown home, as if to run away from myſelf. After ſeveral vain attempts to riſe, I leaned my head againſt the marble chimney-piece, and gazing on the evergreens that filled the fire-place, moralized on the vanity of human expectations; regardleſs of the company. I was rouſed by a gentle tap on my ſhoulder from behind Charlotte's chair. I turned my head, and George ſlid a guinea into my hand, putting his finger to his mouth, to enjoin me ſilence.
"What a revolution took place, not only in my train of thoughts, but feelings! I trembled with emotion—now, indeed, I was in love. Such delicacy too, to enhance his benevolence! I felt in my pocket every five minutes, only to feel the guinea; and its magic touch inveſted my hero with more than mortal beauty. My fancy had found a baſis to erect its model of perfection on; and quickly went to work, with all the happy credulity of youth, to conſider that heart as devoted to virtue, which had only obeyed a virtuous impulſe. The bitter experience was yet to come, that has taught me how very diſtinct are the principles of virtue, from the caſual feelings from which they germinate.
CHAP. VIII.
"I have perhaps dwelt too long on a circumſtance, which is only of importance as it marks the progreſs of a deception that has been ſo fatal to my peace; and introduces to your notice a poor girl, whom, intending to ſerve, I led to ruin. Still it is probable that I was not entirely the victim of miſtake; and that your father, gradually faſhioned by the world, did not quickly become what I heſitate to call him—out of reſpect to my daughter.