One day, when he was discoursing about me to the principal officers of his household, he said to them: “since all the means which I have made use of to recal him to a sense of his duty have been hitherto useless, I will try another method that has just occurred to me. The next fault that he commits, he shall be sent from my palace, in order that we may see if this punishment will make any more impression on him, than all the lectures I have given him. I do not mean by that,” continued he, “to abandon him to want: his usual allowance shall be given him every day, and I will take care that he shall be informed, that I shall always be ready to take him into my service again, when he has changed his course of life.” O excellent prelate, whose extraordinary virtue is worthy of eternal praise!
It was not long before I furnished his excellency with an opportunity to make trial of the new method he had thought of to correct me. Two or three days after, I lost at play the whole of my clothes, not excepting my livery coat, so that I had nothing remaining to cover me, except my breeches and doublet, for which I could get no one to play. I returned to the palace in this condition, and shut myself up in my chamber. My master seeing such an instance of disorderly conduct, executed his design. He ordered the major-domo to replace the clothes I had lost, and then to dismiss me. The major-domo obeyed, and sending me away, told me that his Eminence loved me still in spite of my faults; and that he had given orders that I should have my meals at the palace as usual, and that he would receive me again among his domestics, when he was persuaded that I sincerely repented of my past course of life. Far from feeling grateful for this kindness of the holy prelate, I was so proud, or rather so foolish, as to spurn at it: and I went out of his house grumbling as if I had had great cause of complaint, and vowing that I would never enter his doors again. I thought indeed that he was very wrong to use me thus; and determined to revenge myself upon him by ruining myself.
CHAP. XXVIII.
Guzman enters into the service of the Spanish Ambassador.
My ridiculous pride long prevented me from perceiving the extreme folly of my behaviour. At first I amused myself by strolling about the streets of Rome and eating at the houses of my acquaintance, but I found that my civil reception among them did not last long; scanty fare and gloomy looks saluted me every where, and I was soon at a loss for a dinner. This verifies the Spanish proverb: Live a week with your uncle or cousin, a month with your brother, a year with your friend; but in the house of your father you may live for life.
I soon perceived that spunging was a villainous trade, and began to regret that I was self-exiled from the table of the cardinal’s pages; but the fault was then irreparable, since at that time his Eminence fell sick and died. He left to all his servants, by his will, money enough to support them comfortably for the remainder of their lives. This circumstance drove me to despair, as I could not forgive myself for having, by my deplorable folly, excluded myself from the provision which would otherwise have been made for me. I saw no other resource, but to offer my services to the Spanish Ambassador, who had been one of the most intimate friends of my deceased master, and knew me very well. He had also in more than one instance given me tokens of his good will.
I had no sooner expressed my desire of entering into his service, than he testified the utmost willingness to receive me. He had often condescended to honor with a smile the jests and stories he had heard from me at the palace of the cardinal. He considered me as a dexterous young fellow, and very well adapted for his buffoon and pimp. This last honorable employment was what he chiefly designed for me, as you will soon perceive. But first I must depict the character of this minister.
He was chosen to conduct an embassy to Rome, at a very critical period; this situation required a penetrating genius, and a man of great address. His excellency perfectly justified the confidence which the king reposed in him. But he had a foible, a little too common amongst men of rank,—that of being too much addicted to women. But for this circumstance, he would have been more esteemed than any other Ambassador at that court. Having, then, judged me worthy to have the management of his intrigues, he began to inform me of his virtuous intentions. Then, that I might give him a specimen of my abilities, he employed me in some trifling messages of gallantry, in which I had the good fortune to acquit myself to his entire satisfaction. This coup d’essai was followed by two or three commissions of the same nature, though of somewhat more difficulty, which were conducted with equal success. Nothing more was necessary to establish me perfectly in his good graces, and he conceived such a friendship for me that I soon became his favorite page. From this moment Signor Guzman was all in all in his master’s house. I did as I pleased, and every thing that I did was well done. The other domestics did not see my growing greatness without envy, especially those of longest standing; some called me my master’s buffoon, and some his pimp in ordinary. Nevertheless I did not presume upon the favor of the Ambassador, and was so far from doing these spiteful gentry any ill offices with his excellency, that I gladly seized every opportunity of serving them, in consequence of which they forbore to shew me any particular mark of their ill will, and we lived together on pretty tolerable terms.
While I was with the Ambassador, I did not disgrace the reputation I had acquired on account of my frolics at the palace of the Cardinal, and I was not very sparing of my tricks, as there could not be any place in the world that could open a wider field for them than the house of my new master. Parasites often came in at dinner time. My fellow pages and I were not at a loss to distinguish them from respectable people whom my master was really happy to see at his table. We took care to be very attentive to the latter, but as for the spungers who were most of them mere adventurers, they had but scurvy commons, which diverted the Ambassador exceedingly. One was suffered to ask in vain for drink during the whole meal; it was of no use to make signs, we pretended not to understand them. Another had his glass handed to him half full, and the glass shaped in such a fashion, that half the liquor would remain in the glass; which only tantalized his thirst. Another was served with water prepared of a red colour.—If a dainty morsel was carved for any one of these gentry, we changed his plate so quickly that the poor devil had scarcely time to taste it. In a word, we did every thing in our power to drive them all from his Excellency’s table, and were sometimes lucky enough to succeed.
Among the adventurers who were drawn together by the savory fumes which proceeded from our kitchen, there was a foreigner who surpassed all the others in impudence. He affirmed himself to be a relation of the Ambassador, though his manners were as opposite as possible to those of a man of quality. His brazen impudence was his only introduction, and in spite of the frozen reception he met with from his Excellency, he assiduously pestered him with his company at dinner. He did nothing but boast of himself and of his country:—the politeness of his countrymen,—their civilities to strangers, and their honesty, were topics of which he was never tired. As for the women, the wives were all Lucretias and the daughters Vestal Virgins. I should never have done if I were to repeat all the praises which he heaped upon the people of his own country: at last he wearied all the company with his foolish discourse, but especially my master, who being quite out of patience, said to me one day in Castilian, which this blade did not understand; “You know not, Guzman, how weary I am of this fellow’s rhodomontade.”