CHAP. XVII.
Guzman takes a false alarm, and leaves Toledo precipitately. Another gallantry. Origin of the proverb, “at Malagon, a thief in every house, but in that of the Alcaid two, the father and the son.”
Thus ended my gallantries at Toledo; and to complete my misfortunes, when I arrived at my inn, I met an Alguazil there, who, I was informed, had just arrived from Madrid, and had been making very particular inquiries of the landlord for a certain quidam, of whom he was in search. I did not hear this without uneasiness; nevertheless, alarmed as I was, I managed to put a bold face on the matter; but I was so agitated the whole of the night that I could not get a wink of sleep. I rose early the next morning, still thinking of this cursed Alguazil, and went out to walk in the Zocodover. I had not gone once round the square, before I heard a man crying, Two mules returning to Almagro.
I determined to avail myself of this opportunity, and resolved in a moment to hire these two mules, as though I had foreseen that I should find a company of soldiers at Almagro on the point of departure for Italy. I spoke to the crier, and we soon agreed; after which I sent my lackey to pay my landlord, and to fetch my baggage, which consisted of a portmanteau, in which was my fashionable dress, some fine linen, and what remained of my money. As soon as he rejoined me, I gave him one of the mules, mounted myself on the other, and rejoiced at having found so favourable an opportunity of leaving Toledo, where I could no longer remain in peace, I took the route towards Orgas, where I slept that night.
At the inn where we stopped there chanced to be a very pretty servant-maid, who, from her wit and obliging manners, seemed so superior to her condition that I commenced a conversation with her, in the course of which I could not refrain from plainly expressing the amorous desires I felt towards her. So far from being startled at this declaration, she anticipated my wishes, and went so far as to promise that she would steal into my chamber in the night. “But, my darling,” said I, “can I be sure that you will not deceive me? Can I rely upon this promise?” “Certainly,” answered she; “you are too handsome a young gentleman for me to wish to impose on; rely on it, I will keep my word.”
I slept that night in a chamber in which there were some oats kept, the door of which I took care to leave open, that my damsel might come in at what hour she pleased. I fell asleep while I lay waiting for her, though it is not very usual to think of sleeping on such occasions; but the uneasiness caused by the Alguazil the preceding night not having permitted me to take any repose, I felt more inclined to rest than to make love. I was soon awoke, however, by hearing a slight noise in the room, which I did not doubt was my fair one; and anxious to receive her with the attention that her punctual observance of her promise seemed to deserve, “Approach, my charmer,” said I, in a low voice, “I have been waiting impatiently for you.” No one answered. I thought the jade behaved thus to provoke my desires the more, and with this conviction I leant half my body out of bed, and stretched out my arms to seize her; and my hands lighted on something exceedingly soft, but of such a softness as revolted against my ideas. In fact, it was the ear of an ass, who had left his stable and entered my chamber, attracted by the smell of the oats that were kept there. This animal, whose head was almost as low as the floor when I touched him, raised it on a sudden, as a punishment for my sins, and gave me so violent a blow on the chin, that it loosened all my teeth, and filled my mouth with blood. I rose from my bed swearing, and with the intention of running my sword through this accursed beast, who, fortunately, however, for him, was frightened at the noise I made, and took to his heels. I was content, therefore, to lie down again, with curses against love, and renewing the oath I had already made, to be more cautious of its snares.
A few moments before day-light I was just beginning to doze again, when the muleteer entered my chamber to give me notice that breakfast was ready, and that if I wished to reach Malagon at any reasonable hour that day, I had no time to lose. I was soon up and dressed; and after having eaten a good breakfast of what the host chose to provide for me, I was just going to mount my mule, when she directed a violent kick at me, which would certainly have crippled me for the remainder of my days had I been at a greater distance; but I was luckily so close to the plaguy beast that she could not do me much harm. “The devil take all females!” cried I; “I was born to be ill-treated by them.” To divert the companions of my journey, and to amuse myself, I related to them on the road the particulars of my late adventure with the ass. This recital seemed particularly diverting and interesting to the muleteer, who told us, after having laughed his bellyful, that Luzia, which was the servant’s name, had been more faithful to him: that she had passed the greater part of the night with him, and he gave me this piece of information for my guidance in future: that the servants in inns were always considered the right of the muleteers, as a recompence for the service they do the landlord in bringing travellers to his house.
We arrived at Malagon at night, whence I set out again the next day, without any other scurvy trick of fortune except having lost one bottle of wine, which I missed when we had got about three or four leagues from the town. “As I live,” quoth I, “this theft brings to my recollection, and verifies the old proverb which declares, that in Malagon there is a thief in every house, but in that of the Alcaid two, the father and the son. Upon this the muleteer asked me if I knew the origin of this proverb. I answered that I did not, and that I should be glad to hear it. If I may believe an old man from whom I had it, replied he, this is the story.
“In the year 1236, when Don Fernando, surnamed the Holy, King of Castile and Leon, was one day at Beneventum, news was brought him that the Christian troops had entered Cordova, having already possessed themselves of the suburbs called Axarquia; but that the Moors, to whom the place belonged, and who were very superior in numbers, were preparing to repulse them. This monarch, animated by his zeal for his religion, resolved to fly to the relief of the Christians, and sent notice of his design to Don Alvaro Perez de Castro, and Don Ordonis Alvaroz, who were both at Marts. These two lords, who were at that time the most illustrious cavaliers in Castile, instantly repaired to the King, who immediately set out as he had determined. As he was only accompanied by about a hundred men, he issued orders to all his warriors and vassals, who might be dispersed in the different towns and villages under his dominion, to follow him to Cordova. These orders would have been executed willingly, and without delay, had it been practicable; but it was then just in the middle of the month of January, and the heavy snow and rains had fallen in such abundance as to cause all the rivers and springs to overflow: so that the troops were not able to advance, but were obliged to halt at every place they came to.
“So great a number of them were under the necessity of stopping at Malagon, that one soldier was obliged to be quartered in every house, and two in those of the more opulent citizens. The commander of these troops, and his son, who was also an officer, chanced to fall to the lot of the Alcaid. Though this was a very considerable town, yet there were now so many people in it, and the times were so hard, that provisions became extremely scarce and dear, and as the soldiers were not able to procure them at such excessive rates, they began to steal, to prevent their dying with hunger. While these things were going on, a merry conceited peasant who had just passed through the town in his way to Toledo, met a troop of cavaliers on the road near Orgas, who asked him whence he came. “From Malagon,” replied he; “and what news from thence?” inquired one of the cavaliers. The peasant made this answer, which has since become a proverb, “at Malagon there is a thief in every house, and in that of the Alcaid two, the father and the son.”
“It is most unfair,” continued the muleteer, “that this proverb should be applied to the inhabitants of Malagon, since they were the persons robbed, and not those that robbed others. On the contrary, I will maintain to their credit, that from Madrid to Seville there is no inn where travellers are better treated and less imposed on than at Malagon. I do not pretend to say that there are not knaves in that place, as well as elsewhere; but I assure you there are many worse in this country.”