Marrying into the clan of either parent is in opposition to the old law; but at present there is nothing for the Sia to do but to break these laws, if they would preserve the remnant of their people, and while such marriages are looked upon with disfavor, it is “the inevitable.” The young men are watched with a jealous eye by their elders that they do not seek brides among other tribes, and though the beauty of the Sia maidens is recognized by the other pueblo people, they are rarely sought in marriage, for, according to the tribal custom, the husband makes his home with the wife; and there is little to attract the more progressive Indian of the other pueblos to Sia, where the eagerness to perpetuate a depleted race causes the Sia to rejoice over every birth, especially if it be a female child, regardless whether the child be legitimate or otherwise.
When a girl reaches puberty she informs her mother, who invites the female members of her clan to her house, where an informal feast is enjoyed. The guests congratulate the girl upon having arrived at the state of womanhood, and they say to her, “As yet you are like a child, but you will soon be united with a companion and you will help to increase your people.” The only male present is the girl’s father. The news, however, soon spreads through the village, and it is not long before offers are made to the mother for the privilege of sexual relations with the girl. The first offers are generally refused, the mother holding her virgin daughter for the highest bidder. These are not necessarily offers of marriage, but are more commonly otherwise, and are frequently made by married men.
Though the Sia are monogamists, it is common for the married, as well as the unmarried, to live promiscuously with one another; the husband being as fond of his wife’s children as if he were sure of the paternal parentage. That these people, however, have their share of latent jealousy is evident from the secrecy observed on the part of a married man or woman to prevent the anger of the spouse. Parents are quite as fond of their daughters’ illegitimate offspring, and as proud of them as if they had been born in wedlock; and the man who marries a woman having one or more illegitimate children apparently feels the same attachment for these children as for those his wife bears him.
Some of the women recount their relations of this character with as much pride as a civilized belle would her honest offers of marriage. One of the most attractive women in Sia, though now a grandmother, once said to the writer:
When I was young I was pretty and attractive, and when I reached womanhood many offers were made to my mother for me [she did not refer to marriage, however], but my mother knowing my attractions refused several, and the first man I lived with was the richest man in the pueblo. I only lived with three men before I married, one being the present governor of the village; my eldest child is his daughter, and he thinks a great deal of her. He often makes her presents, and she always addresses him as father when his wife is not by. His wife, whom he married sometime after I ceased my relations with him, does not know that her husband once lived with me.
This woman added as an evidence of her great devotion to her husband, that since her marriage she had not lived with any other man.
These loose marriage customs doubtless arise from the fact that the Sia are now numerically few and their increase is desired, and that, as many of the clans are now extinct, it is impossible to intermarry in obedience to ancient rule.
The Sia are no exception to all the North American aborigines with whom the writer is acquainted, the man being the active party in matrimonial aspirations. If a woman has not before been married, and is young, the man speaks to her parents before breathing a word of his admiration to the girl. If his desire meets with approbation, the following day he makes known to the girl his wish for her. The girl usually answers in the affirmative if it be the will of her parents. Some two months are consumed in the preparations for the wedding. Moccasins, blankets, a dress, a belt, and other parts of the wardrobe are prepared by the groom and the clans of his paternal and maternal parents. The clans of the father and mother of the girl make great preparations for the feast, which occurs after the marriage. The groom goes alone to the house of the girl, his parents having preceded him, and carries his gifts wrapped in a blanket. The girl’s mother sits to her right, and to the right of this parent the groom’s mother sits; there is space for the groom on the left of the girl, and beyond, the groom’s father sits, and next to him the girl’s father. When the groom enters the room the girl advances to meet him and receives the bundle; her mother then comes forward and taking it deposits it in some part of the same room, when the girl returns to her seat and the groom sits beside her. The girl’s father is the first to speak, and says to the couple, “You must now be as one, your hearts must be as one heart, you must speak no bad words, and one must live for the other; and remember, your two hearts must now be as one heart.” The groom’s father then repeats about the same, then the girl’s mother, and the mother of the groom speak in turn. After the marriage, which is strictly private, all the invited guests assemble and enjoy a feast, the elaborateness of the feast depending upon the wealth and prominence of the family.
Fig. 4.—Breaking the earth under tent.