There are also times when it is eminently proper to introduce one's self, such as when you find upon entering a drawing room that the hostess has forgotten your name; or if it should have been wrongly announced; or if you are an entire stranger to the hostess, it is not only proper, but imperative, to introduce yourself at once. Then, too, it occasionally happens that a gentleman, wishing to render some assistance to a lady who is traveling alone, prefers to introduce himself beforehand. This, of course, leaves the lady perfectly free to recognize him or not at any future time. Occasions such as these are constantly arising, and tact and judgment must be used to decide the question for one's self.
Watering-place introductions are frequently given for the convenience and pleasure of the time being. They are usually made by the eldest lady of either party and further recognition in the future is optional.
Do not introduce people in public places. Do not, even if a friend should overtake you and walk by your side for some distance, or should meet and talk with you, introduce him to another friend with whom you are also walking. You may do it, however, in exceptional cases. Do not, as a rule, introduce two people who are inhabitants of the same town; it is to be supposed that they could have known one another had they cared so to do. Still, it is well to exercise judgment in this one particular, since what could be done unquestioned in a city parlor cannot always be accomplished without exciting comment and ill-feeling in a country town.
Do not introduce gentlemen to ladies without first being sure that the acquaintance will be agreeable to the lady, since it is much more difficult for a lady to shake off an undesirable acquaintance than it is for a gentleman. In the case of foreigners it is always well to be careful before introducing them to young ladies at their own request, since it often happens that foreign titles, found upon this side the water, are extremely dubious. Hence one is clearly justified in referring them to her parents or guardians for the required favor.
A Custom Out of Date.
Introductions at evening parties are, fortunately, very much out of date, except it is for partners in dancing, or unless there should be so many strangers present as to threaten overwhelming the entire party in speechless gloom. Occasionally in the country some old-fashioned hosts persist in handing each newcomer around the room like refreshments for an introduction to each one present. This custom puts the later arrivals in the position, as some one says, "of making a semi-circular bow like a concert singer before an audience," and this, to non-professionals, is not a little embarrassing.
Timid people, and people unaccustomed to the rules of social etiquette, always feel a certain dread in going through the slight formality of an introduction. Nothing, however, if one remembers a few timely hints, can be simpler than this little ceremony so necessary for each of us to perform many times in our intercourse with others. Recollect always to introduce the gentleman to the lady, never the lady to the gentleman, except in the case of very exalted rank, extreme age or the possession of great eminence in intellectual or artistic life; otherwise, the rule is inflexible save in introducing a youthful "rosebud" formally to an elderly gentleman, in which case you would present her to him. The chivalry of etiquette assumes that a man is always honored by presentation to a lady.
In introducing ladies, present the younger to the elder, unless in case of some marked exception such as those given above.
The simplest form in presenting one person to another is always the best. A wife presents her husband as "Mr. North," "Colonel North," or "Doctor North," always giving him his rightful titles. The wife of the President should introduce him as "The President," while we should address him as "Mr. President."
In introducing a gentleman to a lady one should say, "Mrs. A., allow (or permit) me to introduce (or present) Mr. B.; Mr. B., Mrs. A.," being sure that the names are distinctly pronounced. If this should not be the case, let the parties themselves ask it at once, a simple "I beg pardon, I did not understand the name," saving much future annoyance.