THIS chapter is devoted to the gathering up of the fragments that remain from all the other departments that cannot be rigidly classified, and yet are useful to remember.
There are many minute points of etiquette which, although not extremely important, often serve as a source of embarrassment to uninitiated persons, and upon which information that can be relied upon is desired.
Who Bows First?
Whether the lady or gentleman should bow first is a point where many differ. That the lady should bow first, most authorities agree in declaring. This acts as a safeguard to a lady, permitting her to drop an undesirable acquaintance, as a failure to bow would be considered the "cut direct." But some ladies are forgetful of faces, and some are near-sighted, thus preventing ready recognition of others; so that, while this custom might apply to introductions given at a ball, still, a bow hurts no one, and an undesirable acquaintance is easily dropped without this rudeness. Hence it would seem that, whichever one recognizes first, the other ought to have the privilege of bowing without breaking this social law, which is better observed in the spirit than in the letter.
“Lady” or “Gentleman?”
These terms have come to be used so continuously, and sometimes so meaninglessly that they bid fair to crowd out the sweet, strong words, "man" and "woman," and a revulsion of taste has swept in that goes nigh in some "sets" to utterly swamp the "lady" and "gentleman." Either extreme is a mistake.
There is a right and wrong use of these terms; for example, one says to one's servants, or to one's children, "I expect some ladies to visit me to-morrow," while later, referring to them in conversation with a friend, one may say, "they are women of exquisite culture." A matron may speak of young ladies as "girls," but if she be not intimate, "young ladies," is more usual, or she may address them collectively as "young women."
Misuse of the Term “Lady.”
The term "lady" has been more abused than that of "gentleman." The words "fore-lady," "sales-lady," "wash-lady," have rendered it ludicrous when one thinks of contrasting it with the terms, happily never used, of "fore-gentleman," "sales-gentleman," etc.