Twentieth Century Culture and Deportment / Or the Lady and Gentleman at Home and Abroad; Containing Rules of Etiquette for All Occasions, Including Calls; Invitations; Parties; Weddings; Receptions; Dinners and Teas; Etiquette of the Street; Public Places, Etc., Etc. Forming a Complete Guide to Self-Culture; the Art of Dressing Well; Conversation; Courtship; Etiquette for Children; Letter-Writing; Artistic Home and Interior Decorations, Etc.

by Maud C. Cooke

Never permit yourself to threaten where you do not perform; children are quick to learn the value of your promises, and place very accurate estimates, in their own minds, as to what their parents will, or will not do under given circumstances. Absolute truthfulness can never be taught a child by precept, when by constant example he is taught that the word of his parents has little or no value in his own case, so far as threats and punishments, or even rewards, extend. If a punishment is the penalty for a broken law, see that it is inflicted; if a reward is promised, be sure that it is given.

Enjoin upon children strict justice in their dealings one with another, even in their games, never allowing the stronger to impose upon the weak, but teaching forbearance and tenderness in all their actions.

Talebearing.

Discourage, as far as possible, all talebearing in the home, and, as a rule, do not listen to complaints, and long recitals of injuries received from little playfellows. Care in this respect will nip in the bud the tendency toward exaggeration and talebearing that so early develops in a child, and so soon matures into the “gossip” of riper years. This demand for exactitude in childish statements will pave the way for strictly truthful declarations in the more important affairs of later life, redounding thus to the lasting benefit of the individual and the community.

Truthfulness.

The least approach toward prevarication, or concealment of their childish misdemeanors, should be treated as a grave fault. To prevent, as far as possible, all attempts at disguising the truth, penalties for faults should rarely be of so severe a nature that the little transgressor resorts to evasion through fear of the consequences.

Respectfulness.

Children should be taught to be respectful toward their parents and others older than themselves, to be polite towards those of their own age, and very thoughtful for the comfort of the sick and weak. Respect must also be shown toward servants and dependants, and no unnecessary demands made upon their time or services.

Obedience.

Prompt obedience should always be demanded of a child, and the spirit of murmuring and questioning firmly repressed. None can command except they have first learned to obey.