Never be guilty of abrupt contradictions. If you differ decidedly from some given opinion, soften the expression of your difference by such modifications as, “I hardly think so,” or, “My idea is rather different,” or, “I beg to differ.” This is much more polite and less likely to arouse antagonistic feelings.
In conversation never allow yourself to fall into the habit of using constantly such phrases as “You don’t say!” “Do tell!” “Did you ever?” “Is that so?” and many others that will come to mind as you recall your own faults in this respect, and the faults of your friends. An equal avoidance should be cultivated of such interjections as “Say,” “Well,” etc., with which we often begin our sentences. These habits are all to be condemned and should be corrected as speedily as possible.
Voice and Manner.
Let your voice be low and pleasantly modulated and your enunciation clear, distinct and musical. All these things are marks of good breeding, and, if not yours by birthright, may be acquired by patience and perseverance. Avoid high tones and nasal tones. Do not talk rapidly, or in a hesitating, stumbling fashion. A partial course in elocution and voice training will work wonders in this direction, and any one determined to succeed will never regret the time or money so spent.
Cultivate also, if shy and timid by nature, self esteem sufficient to imagine that you are quite the equal of those with whom you are about to meet. This resolution will enable you to say what you wish without fear of mistake, and without showing too much respect of persons. The above-mentioned elocutionary lessons will also be an aid toward acquiring self-possession.
Repose of manner should be assiduously cultivated. Do not fidget or loll about in your chair, or twist your fingers constantly, or play with something while you talk, or restlessly beat a tattoo with fingers or feet. All such faults render your companionship a burden to those about you.
Indulge in no facial contortions, as they rapidly become habits difficult to break and usually leave their traces on the face in lines impossible to efface. Lifting the eyebrows, rolling the eyes, opening them very widely, twisting the mouth and opening it so as to show the tongue in talking, are all disagreeable habits, that, once acquired, can only be broken by ceaseless vigilance. Practice talking without moving the facial muscles but slightly. Do this before your mirror daily, if necessary, and before the same faithful mentor learn to open the eyes less widely, parting the lids only just so far as to show the colored iris without a glimpse of the white portion, or cornea, of the eye above or below it. The time thus spent will result in a change most gratifying to yourself and friends.
Conversational Sins.
Never interrupt a person who is talking. Never take the words out of anyone’s mouth and finish the sentence for them. To do this is ill-bred and does not bespeak your superior discernment, but your ignorance of polite society.
Puns, unless exceptionally witty, are to be carefully avoided. Young ladies, especially, should beware of establishing any reputation for punning. At all events, puns should never be far-fetched.