"If God exists," said Mr. Ingersoll to a Presbyterian minister, who was engaged in a discussion with him upon religion, "he is certainly as good as you are." "Your God," he says to the Presbyterians, "is a Torquemada who denies to his countless victims the mercy of death." And when he sees human miseries, the injustices of this world, war, pestilence, famines, and inundations, the Colonel reproaches Jehovah with passing too much time in numbering the hairs of His creatures.
In the opinion of Robert Ingersoll, a religion is not moral which practically says to man: "Do not sin; but if you do sin, console yourself, come to me and I will forgive you." Such a theory is not calculated to improve mankind, who should be taught to do good, not in the hope of being one day rewarded for it, not in the fear of being punished for the neglect of it, but out of love and admiration for what is good, and with the aim of adding to the happiness of their fellow-creatures. Mr. Ingersoll's religion is the religion of humanity; he says: "Happiness is the only good; the time to be happy is now, and the way to be happy is to make others so." Live to do good, to love, and be beloved by those around, and then lie down and sleep with the consciousness of having done your duty to men. Do not ask pardon of God for an injury done to man. Ask pardon of the man, and make reparation to him for your offence.
"I rob Smith," exclaims Mr. Ingersoll in the ironical language he is such a master of, "God forgives me. How does that help Smith?"
He maintains that the Christian religion teaches less the love of an infinitely just and merciful God, than the fear of a demon thirsting for human victims. This charge is borne out by a proverb used by the Scot, who is a student of human nature:
"If the deil were de'ed, God wad na be served so weel."
The Colonel maintains that if man has had hands given him to feel, eyes to see, ears to hear, he has also a brain to think, a heart to love, and intelligence to reason with.
He does not attack so much the Catholic religion, which rests on faith; for a religion which rests purely on faith is not a matter for reasoning and argument. But he attacks rather a Protestantism which prides itself upon resting on reason as well as on faith.
The theories of Colonel Ingersoll are the natural outcome of the introduction of reasoning into religious matters.
Things which are felt only, cannot be discussed; things which are incomprehensible are not matter for explanation.
Protestantism is a mixture of faith and reason agreeing pretty badly together, it must be confessed. The Protestant takes the Bible for a book, every word of which is inspired of God. He interprets it in his own fashion, and proves out of it every doctrine he requires to found a new sect. The very drunkard is not at a loss to find an excuse for his drinking, and turning to Isaiah (lxv. 13), comforts himself with: "Behold, my servants shall drink."