"[Avez]-vous du mal, monsieur?"
He thought the porter took him for a Frenchman, and he prepared to answer in French. Believing he was asked if "he had two trunks," he answers:
"No, only a portmanteau."
After this first success, he thought he would air his French.
"[Garçon!]" he calls; "j'ai faim."
He pronounces this quite perfectly, so perfectly that the waiter, understanding that he is married, informs him that he can have apartments ready for Madame.
"He is obstinate and will have another shot:
"Je suis fameux, garçon!"
The waiter bows respectfully.
This won't do, dear fellow; try again.