Was it the fault of the priest, or of children eleven years old, that, at this announcement, all our little round faces lengthened visibly? We had been imposed upon. That was the idea that we dared not confess to ourselves, though it was undoubtedly present in our minds.
I remember hearing my mother say, years afterwards, that she had never forgiven that priest for sowing seeds of doubt in my mind, at an age when confidence is unlimited and deceptions so acutely felt.
XX.
APOTHEOSIS OF THE DAUGHTERS OF JOHN BULL.
(Scenes of disappointment in Paradise in the year 19..)
Jennie.—“My dear Susie! At last! How glad I am to see you!”
Susie.—“At last! my dear: why at last? I came straight up ... without any hitch, as you may imagine.”
Jennie.—“Oh! of course ... I only thought ... that is, you used to long so after Paradise ... that I began to wonder that you were so long making up your mind to leave the vale of tears and misery: ... would you believe there were moments when I used to be almost afraid you would put an end to yourself?”
Susie.—“Well, yes: I certainly used to long to be gone. But it is so hard to be sure that one is ready. No, I used to pray that I might be permitted to serve Him long on the earth, where He has so few servants; and I would say to myself: The longer I live the more good I shall be able to do.”
Jennie.—“Yes, I quite understand you, dear ... besides, between ourselves, it is all very well to run down that poor Earth, but it has its redeeming points, you know.... By the way, I must tell you, I have such an anxiety on my mind. Do you know, I have been searching everywhere for my husband for years ... I have been into every corner of the place, and there is not a soul whom I have not asked if the poor fellow had been seen.... He has not arrived yet, that is evident; ... and I can’t help telling you that I begin to be dreadfully afraid....”