“At the four corners of Trafalgar Square, the London Place de la Concorde, four pedestals are to be seen. Three are surmounted by statues, the fourth is waiting.”[11]
[11] John Bull et son Ile, p. 85.
It is waiting still.
If England is short of heroes, let her install General Booth on the fourth pedestal; but for goodness and symmetry’s sake, let her set someone upon it.
The statue of Queen Anne, that stands in front of St. Paul’s Cathedral, in the heart of the City, has been wanting a nose for the past five or six years. For a shilling she might be provided with a beauty. Yet no; the fat aldermen of Beefsteakopolis, who dine at three or four guineas a head, and have lately spent twelve thousand pounds upon a ridiculous and hideous monument that stands at the entrance to the part of London that is under their jurisdiction, refuse a nose to the sovereign in whose reign lived the great Marlborough, hero of Blenheim and Malplaquet. Yet nobody can doubt that a nose would be very useful to the poor thing, neglected by John Bull, and stuck up there, in one of the most furiously draughty spots in London.
“One of the largest tea houses is not ashamed to publish the following advertisement in all the public thoroughfares and railway stations of England:—‘We sell at three shillings a pound the same tea as we supply to dukes, marquises, earls, barons, and the gentry of the country.’ The poor viscounts are left out in the cold: it is a regrettable oversight.”[12]
[12] John Bull et son Ile, p. 61.
The oversight has been repaired; I congratulate both the viscounts and the firm. Who says books serve no purpose? Why, princes and bishops have been added. If only Her Majesty would be kind enough to give Cooper Cooper’s tea a trial!
“The day the House of Lords reject any important measure passed by the Liberals, it will have dealt its own death-blow.”[13]
[13] Ib., p. 242.