She struck her bosom with her hand, and rocked back and forward, while her wild, black eyes gazed steadily before her with that same rigid look of changeless despair.
“I loved her better than anything in earth or heaven, except her father—my heart was wrapped up in hers—she was the dearest part of myself; and, since I lost her, life has been a mockery—worse than a mockery to me. Girl!” she said, looking up suddenly and fiercely, “never love! Try to escape woman’s doom of loving and losing, and of living on, when death is the greatest blessing God can send you. Never love! Tear your heart out and throw it in the flames sooner than love and live to know your golden idol is an image of worthless clay. Girl, remember!” and she sprung to her feet, her eyes blazing with a maniac light, and grasped Pet so fiercely by the arm that she was forced to stifle a cry of pain, “never love—never love! Take a dagger and send your soul to eternity sooner!”
She flung Pet from her with a violence that sent her reeling against the wall, and darted from the room.
CHAPTER XXXII.
THE OUTLAW.
“He knew himself a villain, but he deemed The rest no better than the thing he seemed; And scorned the best as hypocrites, who hid, Those deeds the bolder spirit plainly did. He knew himself detested, but he knew The hearts that loathed him crouched and dreaded, too. Lone, wild and strange he stood, alike exempt From all affection and from all contempt.” —Byron.
That first day of her imprisonment seemed endless to Pet. She yawned over her books, and dozed over the drawings, and fell asleep, wondering what they were doing at home, and when they would come in search of her; and dreamed she was creeping through some hole in the wall, making her escape, and awoke to find herself crawling on all fours between the legs of the table. It was the longest, dreariest day Pet had ever known. The woman Marguerite did not make her appearance again, and Pet’s meals were served by a bright, bold-eyed lad, whom she plied with some fifty questions or so in a breath; but as the boy was a Spaniard, and did not speak nor understand a word of English, Miss Lawless did not gain much by this. As there was no means of telling day from night, Pet would have thought a week had elapsed but for the little clock that so slowly and provokingly pointed out the lagging hours.
“This being taken captive and carried off to a romantic dungeon by a lot of bearded outlaws is not what it’s cracked up to be, after all,” said Pet, gaping fit to strain her jaws. “It’s all very nice to read about in story books, and see at the theater; but in real life, come to look at it, it’s the most horridly-slow affair ever was. Now, when I used to read about the lovely princess being carried off by the fiery dragon (by the way, I’d like to see a fiery dragon—I never did see one yet), I used to wish I had been in her place; but I know better now. She must have had a horrid stupid time of it in that enchanted castle, until that nice young man, the prince, came, and carried her off. Heigho! What a pity I have no prince to come for me! Wonder if Ray Germaine’s gone yet—but, there! I don’t care whether he is or not. He does not care two pins whether he ever sees me again or not. Nobody cares about me, and I’m nothing but a poor, abused, diabolical little wretch. Oh, yaw-w-w! Lor’! how sleepy I am! I do wish somebody would come and talk to me, even Rozzel Garnet, or that man with all the black whiskers, who was impolite enough to call me names, or that wild, odd-looking outlaw queen—anybody would be better than none. I’ll blue-mould—I’ll run to seed—I’ll turn to dust and ashes, if I’m kept here much longer; I know I will!”
And, yawning repeatedly, Pet pitched her book impatiently across the room, and, stretching herself on a lounge, in five minutes was sound asleep.
The clock, striking ten, awoke her. She rubbed her eyes and looked drowsily up, and the first object on which her eyes rested was the motionless form of Rozzel Garnet, as he stood near, with folded arms, gazing down upon her, with his usual sinister smile.