“Phew-w-w! Great guns and little ones! bombshells and hurricanes! Fire, murder, and perdition generally! Your wife! Oh, ye gods and little fishes! Hold me, somebody, or I’ll go into the high-strikes.”
“Girl, do you mock me?” passionately exclaimed Garnet, springing to his feet.
“Mr. Garnet, my dear sir, take things easy. It’s the worst thing in the world, for the constitution and by-laws, flaring up in this manner. It might produce a rush of brains to the head, that would be the death of you, if from nothing but the very novelty of having them there. ’Sh—sh! now; I see you are going to burst out with something naughty; but don’t—you really mus’n’t speak of your kind friend and patron with the tail and horns, to ears polite. Mock you! St. Judas Iscariot forbid! I trust I have too much respect for your high and mighty majesty, to do anything so impolite. Sit down, Mr. Garnet, and make your unhappy soul as miserable as circumstances will allow. No, now that I’ve eased my mind, I’d rather not get married just at present, thank you. I intend to take the black veil some of these long-come-shorts, if I may be allowed so strong an expression, and second-hand nuns are not so nice as they might be. No, Mr. Garnet, I’m exceedingly obliged for your very flattering offer; but I really must decline the high honor of sharing your hand, heart, and tooth brush,” said Pet, courtseying.
“And by all the fiends in flames, minion, you shall not decline it!” shouted Garnet, maddened by her indescribably taunting tone. “By the heaven above us you shall either be my wife or—”
“Well,” said Pet, sitting down at the table, resting her elbows upon it, dropping her chin in her hands, and staring at him as only she could stare; “what? Why don’t you go on? I never like to have a burst of eloquence like that snapped short off in the middle like the stem of a pipe; it spoils the effect!”
“Then, mad girl, you shall either be my wife, or share a worse fate.”
“Well, Mr. Garnet, I don’t like to contradict you; but if there can be a worse fate than to have anything to do with you, I’d like to know it—that’s all.
“Then you will not consent!” he said, glaring on her like a tiger.
“Mr. Garnet, for goodness’ sake don’t make such an old goose of yourself, asking silly questions!” said Pet, yawning. “I wish you would go! I’m sleepy, and you look just now so much like a shanghai rooster with the jaundice, that you’ll give me the nightmare if you don’t clear out. Mr. Garnet, I don’t want to be personal, but even the nicest young men get tiresome after a while.”
“Petronilla Lawless, take care! Have you no fear?”