The chances were nearly equal I might never see it again. We were about to enter a valley close as that of Cabool; and from which retreat would be even more difficult. Our troops, all told, mustered scarce ten thousand; while the trained regiments of our enemy were of themselves three times the number. Besides, we were about to penetrate a capital city—the very heart’s core of an ancient nation. Would it not rouse our adversaries to a gigantic effort—a throe sufficient to overwhelm us?
So supposed many of my comrades.
For myself I had no reflections about the future—either of its conquests or defeats.
My thoughts were with my eyes—wandering over the vast vega—resting on the spires of a city, where I had experienced one of the sweetest sensations of my life.
Alas! it had proved a deception, and I had no pleasure in recalling it. On the contrary, I looked back upon the place with a cold pain at my heart, and a consciousness, that I had there sacrificed some of its warmest affections without an iota of return!
I remained for some minutes on the edge of the Bosqué Negra—the ancillae of the long-leaved pines sweeping the crown of my forage cap. Under my eyes, as on a chart, was spread the fertile plain of Puebla, with the city projected in clear outline. Besides the Cathedral, many a spire could I distinguish, and that “public walk” where I had suffered such humiliation. My eyes traced the lines of the streets—running parallel, as in all Spanish-American cities—and sought that of the Calle del Obispo.
I fancied that I could distinguish it; and along with the fancy a score of souvenirs came sweeping over my soul.
They were not pleasant—not one of them. Though all bright below—turrets rising gaily against the turquoise sky—domes that sparkled silver-like in the sun—Orizava snow-white in the distance—around me upon the mountain side all seemed dark as death!
It was not the lava that laced the slope, nor the sombre foliage of the pine-trees, under whose shade I was standing.
The shadow came from within—from the cloud covering my soul.