On reading over my letter, I feel ashamed to have guessed at Mrs.——’s little motives long before you, who have so much more penetration in matters of consequence. The reason is probably because a man is always treated with more kindness and bienveillance in proportion as he has any advantages which succeed in society; while a woman, in proportion to these advantages, though they may be the means of her being flattered and distinguished, is always the object of a degree of malice and ingenious spitefulness from her own sex, and from such men as resemble women in their worst qualities, which very soon enlightens her on the subject, and enables her to descry from afar the attacks of envy and littleness. A man never excites these feelings, except he is placed in a petite ville, or a country neighbourhood, with such characters as the poor sufferer in question.
In the midst of his civility, our countryman threw in yesterday with great address, that ‘none of the English were sent on the late occasion to Verdun, except those who had been teasing the Minister with applications.’ Il me voyoit venir de loin, and was beforehand with me.
TO THE SAME.
Paris, July, 1805.
General Berthier was very civil; I was not forced to wait in an ante-room, as I expected, with a variety of people in the same situation, but received as a visitor. He seemed unwilling to enter into any detail, and rather put aside all my attempts to give it to him. He asked me where you were, and seemed to know nothing about us. I said at Orleans. He said, were you not sent to Verdun? I told him you had got leave to stay at Orleans on account of your illness, and that the favour I asked was, leave for you to come to Paris to be treated by your physician here. He answered, ‘J’aimerais mieux qu’il reste à Orléans. Pourquoi ne pas rester à Orléans? c’est une belle ville; il y a d’excellens médecins.’ I dwelt on your wish for a particular physician here, &c. &c. He said that this physician might go to you, that the French were all sent out of London, and that no English could come to Paris. I said you were Irish (to which he seemed to allow no weight), and said that I had hoped you would not be an exception to the indulgence he had shown aux malheurs particuliers. He said, at this moment no indulgence could be shown. I dwelt upon illness; he said, in that case, everybody would be ill, and that if one was allowed to come to Paris, all the others would expect it, and that nobody was allowed to come. I had the boldness to contradict him, and quote F., upon which he said, ‘Eh bien, nous verrons; qu’il reste à Orléans, et avec le temps je pourrais accorder quelque chose de plus peut-être. Mais il y avait des circonstances particulières dans la position de Monsieur F. Je ferai ce que je pourrais, mais n’en parlez pas, car cela entraine.’ I do not here remember the words, but the idea was that others would plague him. ‘Vous restez à Paris?’ ‘Non, mon Général, je pars tout de suite pour Orléans.’ ‘Je voudrais que vous pourriez rester deux ou trois jours, et revenir içi à la même heure Mardi.’ ‘Vous me donnez donc l’espoir d’accorder cette grâce?’ He was then very diplomatic, with ‘Nous verrons,’ and speeches that were neither yes nor no; but the result is that I am to go again, Tuesday. I then asked, how they were to know at Orleans that you were not to be sent to Verdun, and he said he would write on Monday. I had then to persecute him to write to-night, which he promised. What do you think of all this? I assure you he has left me in complete doubt. Certainly his reception and manner, &c., may give hope, if the stories Mrs. F. and Lady C. tell of his difficulty of access are true; but we do not know whether they are or not. The latter says she has been five weeks trying in vain to see him, or get at some one who can; and I wrote to you, I believe, that the former said she went every day for three weeks together in vain. At the same time he was very guarded in not making any promise.
TO THE SAME.
Paris, Aug., 1805.
Mrs. F. came yesterday again at three, and I only got rid of her by sending for a carriage, and setting her down where she was to dine, at the other end of the world, and out of the way of any affairs of my own. In the evening she ordered her carriage to wait for her here, and came again. She is the most terrible little caricature of the most determined dissipation I ever saw. It consoles one for being farouche, and not showing to advantage in society, when one sees how much more disagreeable the opposite extreme of living for the world may become. Other people whom one finds tiresome one loses in a great town, especially when they live three miles off; but her unfortunate activity multiplies her into twenty little facettes, all ready to blind your eyes and scratch your fingers.