Girl: “Please, ’m, give me an’ me brudders an’ sisters suthin’?”
Lady: “Why, you’re not all one family, surely?”
Girl (unblushingly): “Yes, ’m, we’s all twins!”
“Is your father goin’ to take in boarders this summer?”
“I guess so”; (with a wink) “he took in a lot last year, you know.”
Dennis (a green hand, to whom the speaking-pipe is an unexplored mystery): “I’d give me month’s wages to foind out how the divil the boss iver managed to shqueeze himself into that bit iv a poipe!”
“Well, Tom, what sort o’ Fourth did you have?”