"Ah," said he, in a small, dolorous whine—"I knew it, Benjie—my heart is as soft this morning as a waxy potato. I was a great big fool last evening, Brail, and I don't think I am much wiser to-day, and all for a little, hook-nosed, dumpy woman. Do you know, I took the affair so deeply to heart, that I went home, and drank three bottles of claret solus, and afterwards topped off with hot brandy grog?"—(a very sufficing reason for your bloodshot eyes, thought I),—"and I believe I will go hang myself."
"Poo, poo—hang cats and blind puppies, man," said I. "Come, come, now, Listado—you are not here to renew our quarrel, or rather your quarrel, for I declare I have none with you—but why bring Miss Hudson on the carpet again? She did not deceive you, Listado—you know she never gave you any encouragement."
"She did not deceive me, certainly; but did she not persave that I admired her; so why did she allow me to deceive myself?"
I laughed outright—"Come, man, you are expecting too much at the hands of a young lady, who of course is accustomed to admiration. She was not aware you entertained any very tender regard for her; why, it was only three days ago at breakfast that you broke off in the middle of a beautiful compliment to her eyebrow—the worst feature in her face, by the way—to ask for a plate of broiled ham and eggs. You may rest assured, my dear Listado, that Miss Hudson never dreamed you were in love with her—and, in sober earnest, are you so, now?—come, out with it."
He looked at me, with the strangest twinkle of his eye, then slewing his head from side to side, he twitched up one corner of his mouth, as he said—"Will you, or will you not, take Sophie Duquesné, Brail?—Lord, man, she is the finer woman of the two, and surely you have known neither of the girls long enough to have any peculiar preference."
The idea of my swopping my betrothed wife, as one would do a horse, merely, forsooth, to oblige him, was exceedingly entertaining.
"Really, Listado, you are a most curious animal—I have told you No—and I reiterate, No."
"Well then, Brail, may the devil fly away with you and your dearie both, for, since you must know, I was not in love after all—I am sure I was not, although I confess being at one time very near it—so all happiness to you, my darling. Do you know, Benjie, that I have been quizzing you all this while?"
I did not know it, nor did I believe it, but, by way of letting him down gently, I said nothing; and that very day, I took an affectionate leave of my excellent old friend Sir Oliver, who was that day to drop down under the Moro, preparatory to sailing; of my worthy cousin Dick Lanyard, Mr Sprawl, and the other Gazelles and Midges, who had been kind to me; and next morning I secured my passage in a Kingston trader, that was to sail for Jamaica that day week.