Madagascar Branch of Smithsonian Institute.
A Consul's "Burden."
Abstract of Contents:
Procuration of Live Animals, as per Order of the Department, and
Declination of the Admiral to Receive Them on Board.
Honorable Assistant Secretary of State,
Washington, D. C.
Sir:—Referring to your cablegram under date of May 22d last, directing me to secure live animals for the Smithsonian Institute, to be sent home on the flagship "Chicago" on its arrival at this port, I have to report that I proceeded with more or less trepidation to accomplish the same, the wild animals of Madagascar being exceedingly alive. With assistance of natives I succeeded, after much trouble and expense, in obtaining twelve, had them caged and brought to the consulate weeks before the arrival of the ship. This, I regret to say, was a misadventure. I should have located them in the woods and pointed them out to the Admiral on his arrival. At first they seemed to agree, and were tractable until a patriotic but unlucky impulse induced me to give them the names of a few prominent Generals in the late war. After that, oh, my!
The twelve consist of different varieties. One of the twelve seems a cross of panther and wild cat, and rejoices in the appelation of "Aye Aye."
On the arrival of the "Chicago," forthwith I reported to Admiral Howison my success in capturing "these things of beauty," and eternal terrors, and my desire that they change domicile. He received me with such charming suavity, and my report with so many tender expressions of sympathy for the monkeys that I got a little mixed as to his preference. Still joy-smitten, I was ill-prepared for the announcement "that it was unwise to take them, as it was impossible to procure food to keep them alive until the termination of the voyage."
It was then, Mr. Secretary, that I sadly realized that I was confronted by a condition. Over seventy years of age, 10,000 miles from home, a beggarly salary, with a menagerie on my hands, while bankruptcy and a humbled flag threatened to stare me in the face. There remained nothing for me, but to "bow to the inevitable," transpose myself into a committee of ways and means for the purpose of securing sleep for my eyelids and a saving to the United States Treasury. For while ever loyal to "the old flag and an appropriation," a sense of duty compels me to advise that this branch of the Smithsonian Institute is of doubtful utility.