She, giving thanks to Heaven for the mercies she had received, both in sickness and in health, one day called Periander, and having taken care to be alone, she spoke to him in the following manner:—
"My brother! since it has pleased Heaven that I should now for two years have called you by that sweet and endearing name, without ever stepping beyond the bounds of modesty and decorum; I could wish that this happy bond should still continue, and life alone should end it, instead of looking forward to any other tie; for a happiness is good when it is lasting, and it is lasting when it is pure. Our souls, as you well know, and as you have always taught me, are for ever moving onward, and have no other end and aim but to be with God, who is their centre; our desires in this life are infinite, and linked together they form a chain, which sometimes reaches Heaven, and sometimes leads to hell. If it seems to you, my brother, that this mode of talking is not like myself, and that I am outstepping that which should be expected from my youth and early education, recollect that experience has written much upon the blank paper of my mind. Chiefly I have learned that our greatest joy is to know and be with God, and that all the means whereby we can reach this end, are good, holy, and pleasant. Such are the ways of charity, modesty, and chastity, and if I think this, you will think the same; and thinking thus together, I believe that the love you bear me is so great that you will wish what I wish. I am the heiress of a kingdom, and you know well the reason why I was sent by my dear mother to your father's court, in order that I might be safe from the dangers of war, which threatened my country. Hence resulted my coming here with you, and being obedient to your will, in which I have never once failed in the least degree. You have been to me father and brother; you have been my shelter, my protector, and finally, my guardian angel. You have been my teacher and my master, since you brought me to this city, where I have learned to be a true Christian, and now I would fain, if possible, go to Heaven without delays, alarms, or anxieties; and that cannot be, unless you release me from the promise I myself have given to you, the promise and the wish to become your wife. Give me back, my lord, the promise, and I will try to lose the wish, even though it should be by forcible means; for in order to attain so great a gift as Heaven, one must leave all one loves best on earth, even one's parents, and one's husband or wife. I leave you for no other: He for whom I leave you is God, who will reward you himself, which reward far exceeds what you lose in losing me. I have a younger sister quite as beautiful as I am, if we can call anything that is mortal beautiful; you may marry her and succeed to the crown, which is my right, and thus while you are yielding to my wishes you will not be cheated of your own. Why hangs your head, my brother? ah! why do your eyes seek the ground? Does my discourse displease you? do my wishes seem to you unreasonable? Tell me; answer me, at least let me know your will; possibly I may try to moderate mine, and find out some way more to your liking, and which will agree with mine."
Periander had listened to every word Auristella said in the most profound silence, a thousand suppositions in one brief moment rapidly forming in his imagination, all uniting in picturing the worst that could befall, for he thought that she abhorred him, as this change of life must put an end to his, since she could not but know that if she refused to become his wife, he had no longer anything to live for in this world: and this idea was so earnestly impressed upon his mind, that, without answering her a single word, he rose from his seat, and seeming as if he went to receive Felicia Flora and Constance and Antonio, who were entering the apartment, he went out and left Auristella, (I know not whether I ought to call it,) repenting, but, at all events, thoughtful, and in some confusion.
CHAPTER XI.
Periander quits Rome in despair at Auristella's Proposal.
Water that is enclosed in a narrow vessel, whilst it is in the greatest haste to escape, is slowest to pour out, because the first drops are detained by those which follow, and one impedes the other, till the current begins to rush and all the water breaks forth. So is it with the words that rush into the mind of a distressed lover, sometimes at the very tip of his tongue, yet hindered by those which follow too rapidly for utterance; till scarcely knowing which first came into his head, he is silent, and by silence he says more even than he wishes. This was shown in the small courtesy Periander displayed towards the visitors that he met entering Auristella's apartment. He, full of thoughts and fancies, and oppressed with the imaginations that crowded into his mind, disdained and deceived, as he thought himself, went out of Auristella's presence without knowing how, or wishing, or being able to reply to the long discourse she had held to him.
Antonio and his sister went to her, and found her like one awakening from a heavy dream, and speaking distinctly aloud to herself in such words as these:—