II
Conversion and Soul Struggles
’No soul was ever yet saved who was too idle to seek.’–Mrs. Booth.
Perhaps you, the Corps Cadet, for whom I am especially writing this little book, have been tempted to break your vows by becoming engaged to some one who does not want to be an Officer. And you think, perhaps, that no one understands your feelings.
You will be surprised, then, to know that our Army Mother had just such a battle to fight when she was a girl.
She had a cousin, a little older than herself, who was tall and very clever. He came with his parents to stay in her home, and Katie had not seen him since they were young children. He quickly grew very fond of his cousin, and Catherine found how nice it was to have some one to give her presents and to love her as he did. At last he begged her to promise that by and by she would be engaged to him. Now Katie was very perplexed. On the one hand she loved her cousin, and did not want to grieve him, and yet in her heart she knew he was not truly given up to God, and would not help her in her soul.
‘Go to the Meeting with you, Katie?’ he used to say. ’Of course, I’ll go anywhere to please you.’ But then, while she was trying to get a blessing, he would be scratching little pictures on the back of the seat to make her laugh. Perhaps you can guess the struggle it was for Katie to decide what her answer should be. ’If you will only say “yes,” and be engaged to him, I am sure you will be able to help him, and very likely get him properly saved,’ the Devil would whisper. ’Break it off now, Katie; do not go another step; you know God cannot smile on it.’ That was how her conscience spoke.
At last, one day as she was truly praying and seeking for light, she read the verse in 2 Corinthians vi. 14: ’Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers.’ It came to her as the voice of God.
‘I will do it, Lord,’ she said, after a long struggle; and she sat down, and wrote her cousin a letter, telling him just why she could never be engaged to him, and breaking it all off for ever. Then she turned back to her home duties, and did not re-open the question.
And did our Army Mother in after years regret that she had acted like this? No, indeed; she has told us that she saw plainly later on that, if just then she had chosen to follow her own feelings and wishes, instead of obeying God’s command, all her life would have been altered, and she would never have done the glorious work He had planned for her. It was a hard battle at the time, and cost her many tears; but it was worth it, ten thousand times over, as we can all see to-day.