"Then," asked Gud, "why quarrel you with this Statistician? Why do you not let him and his facts alone?"
"And that I should do gladly, if he would but let me and my morals alone, but he is withholding the issuing of birth permits."
So Gud addressed the Statistician and said: "Why do you not let this man and his morals alone?"
"Because," the Statistician made reply, "his morals are incompatible with my facts, which are: First, our world is absolutely full: Second, there can be no more births than deaths: Third, we must either issue more death permits or cease to issue so many birth permits. That is absolutely logic, yet this Moralist refuses to accept it."
"I certainly do," shouted the Moralist. "Away with your sinful facts and your wicked logic! The morality of our world must be preserved at all costs. We must not encourage murder nor suicide, nor dare we discourage births, for that is also murder of those who would be born, and so it is race suicide. On these moral principles I stand as on the rock of truth, and no torrents of facts or floods of logic can dislodge me."
"You will have to admit," argued Gud, addressing the Vital Statistician, "that the Moralist has the courage of his convictions. Therefore the great truth of moral principle should be regarded above the smaller truths of material facts and mental logic—and many of the inhabitants of your world, if I know mortal nature, will agree with me."
"Sad but true," agreed the Statistician. "I am only able to hold my job because I am under civil service and not subject to popular election. But you, Great Gud, appear to me to be a rational being."
"Oh, yes," confessed Gud, "I am quite rational at times; but from the nature of my position it is only right that I should uphold morality when it clashes with rationality, as I regret to say it often does. Because I must do this, I can see both sides of the case, which neither of you gentlemen can. So to me the solution is very simple, and will outrage neither morals nor reason. Murder and suicide must not be encouraged, births must not be limited, yet your world is full. Obviously, you must proceed to empty it. There is only one moral way to do that. You must have a war—preferably a righteous war. That requires a cause with two right sides. Such causes are plentiful. Any question that can be looked at from two sides, either of which, when looked at rightly is the right side, will serve as the cause for a righteous war. This dispute that you gentlemen bring me will do nicely. Let the moralists fight for their moral principles and the rationalists fight for their facts."
"But," interrupted the Statistician, "my side would have very few adherents; men do not fight to defend facts. We would be overwhelmed by superior numbers and annihilated."
"Certainly," said Gud, "what more could you expect if you espouse an unpopular cause?