Chapter XLII
And Gud came to a great Republic and sat himself down at meat in a tavern of the capital city thereof. Said the damsel who came to serve him: "Alas, there is no meat, for we have civil war, and all the meat is requisitioned for the soldiers."
When she had said that a volley of guns sounded in the street. Gud looked out of the window and saw two armies firing at each other. The one army was composed of men richly garbed, and the other of men poorly clad, and the rich men and the poor men were killing each other. Seizing the white table linen, Gud went out into the midst of the murderous armies and waved the table linen peacefully.
The General of the Rich Men and the General of the Poor Men rushed up angrily to Gud and both demanded in aggrieved tones to know why he was peacefully interfering with the war.
"Because," said Gud, "The soldiers are eating all the meat."
"But," cried the generals, "you have stopped the war—and now what shall we do? We had tried the courts; we had tried the ballot; we had tried arbitration and all failed. So we resorted to war, which is the last resort of civilized people, and we do not wish to revert to savagery."
"I stopped the war," said Gud, "because I dislike to have the streets covered with blood—it makes them slippery, but I am sorry. Is there anything I can do to help you start it again?"
The generals shook their heads sadly, for they saw that the Poor Men and the Rich Men were fraternizing and exchanging cigarettes, and they knew that the war was over.
"I wonder," said Gud, "since I spoiled the war, if you would mind telling me what it was all about?"
"Gladly," said the generals, and they invited Gud into the tavern—and now the damsel brought meat which Gud ate, while the generals of the late war related the cause thereof.