"Then the President took them both back to his official residence and feasted them on grouse and wine, and as they sat about their cigars Jake Smith said: 'Mr. President, which is your mother?'
"'Alas,' said our great President, 'I do not know.'
"At this both artists lost their artistic tempers and rushed into the street. As the news-makers gathered about them, they told what had happened and what the president had said, and it was published abroad in our great Republic, together with photos of the two women, each of whom the President had introduced as his mother.
"Then our citizens warmed to heated arguments and gathered themselves into two parties, the poor to themselves under the leadership of Jake Smith, for they agreed with him that our great President should have a fine and noble lady for his mother. But the rich, under the leadership of Glengary Du Peyster said: 'Surely our President was born of the poor and lowly mother, how else can we be a true republic, where all men are born free and equal?'"
"That is very interesting," said Gud as he took another forkful of meat, "but why did you not ask the women themselves?"
"We did ask them," said the leaders of the late war, "but both said they did not know. So we thought war was the only way to settle the matter. And now you have spoiled the war, which is the last resort of civilized people, and we shall surely revert to savagery."
The following day Gud was conducted with great pomp and ceremony to the Hall of Justice, where he sat down upon the judge's bench.
Said Gud to the President of the great Republic, who was there in his own person: "Bring in your poor mother and put her on the witness stand."
The President did so, and Gud saw before him a stooped, wrinkled and blind creature who was poorly dressed but neat and clean.
"Now," said Gud in his most kindly tone, "we will dispense with the swearing and you may tell me all that happened in your own language."