Greek Women

by Mitchell Carroll

Though the gallantry of modern times was not a part of the habitual equipment of an Athenian gentleman, yet he was very careful as to his behavior in the presence of ladies. There was strict observance of the etiquette which controlled the relations of the sexes. No gentleman would enter an abode of women in the absence of the master, and unbecoming language in the presence of women was a gross offence. The husband carefully abstained in his wife's presence from doing anything that might lower her estimation of his dignity. A certain distance was apparently maintained between married persons, and cordial familiarity was sometimes sacrificed to love of social forms. No doubt, too, fine breeding and true courtesy were generally shown the wife and ruler of his home by the Athenian husband who, like Agathon in the Symposium of Plato, exhibited the most delicate tact and sentiment in his treatment of men.

In the peaceful atmosphere of the home, the Athenian gentlewoman was expected to live an irreproachable life. Infidelity on the part of the husband was regarded as a venial office, but the wife who violated her marriage vows was punished with the most terrible disgrace. Should she marry again, the man who ventured to wed her was disfranchised. She was to all intents and purposes an outcast from society. If she appeared in a temple, she might be subjected to any indignity short of death. Furthermore, a man could divorce his wife on the slightest pretext; while the wife, to obtain a divorce, was compelled to lodge with the archon a complaint against her husband and a prayer for the return of her dowry, and in the ensuing process she was subjected to many delays and inconveniences. Then, as she was still a minor in the eyes of the law, a wife who had left her husband was obliged to return to a state of tutelage under her father or brother; and many a suffering wife endured in silence neglect or ill usage rather than thus return to her father's control. Yet many a high-spirited woman revolted against the infidelities of her husband. The saddest incident of this marital inequality that we find in Greek literature is the story of Alcibiades's wife, Hipparete, and her case shows how difficult it was for a wife to assert her rights. Hipparete's early death leaves on the reader the impression that her heart was broken by her brilliant husband's inconstancy and brutality.

"Hipparete," writes Plutarch, "was a virtuous and dutiful wife, but at last growing impatient because of the outrages done to her by her husband's continual entertaining of hetæræ, strangers as well as Athenians, she departed from him and retired to her brother's house. Alcibiades seemed not at all concerned at this, and lived on still in the same luxury; but the law required that she should deliver to the archon, in person, and not by proxy, the instrument by which she claimed a divorce; and when, in obedience thereto, she presented herself before the archon to perform this, Alcibiades came in, caught her up, and carried her home through the market place, no one daring to oppose him or to take her from him. She continued with him till her death, which happened not long after, when Alcibiades had gone to Ephesus."

We find in Xenophon's remarkable treatise on Domestic Economy an interesting description of the method pursued by a model Greek gentleman in training for her domestic duties his young wife, a tender girl of fifteen, reared under the strictest restraint to the end that she might "see as little, hear as little, and ask as few questions as possible."

He was not content that his young wife should simply know the ordinary household duties of spinning and weaving, and directing her maid, but he wished to educate her so that she might have larger conceptions of her sphere as well as the ability to understand what was desirable for the happiness of both. The account which the model husband, Ischomachus, gives in his dialogue with Socrates of his experience in wife training throws many sidelights on the marriage relations of the Athenians and the philosophy of their system. As soon as the child-wife was properly domesticated, so that she dared to converse freely, her husband began to talk to her of their mutual responsibilities and to inculcate those lessons which would be to their mutual advantage. She was now, he goes on, the mistress of his house; henceforth everything should be theirs in common--the caring for their fortune, as well as the education of the children whom the gods might grant them. He will never question which of them has done the more to increase their common store, but each shall strive to contribute largely to that fortune.

The young wife, in her astonishment at such words, asks: "How can I help you in this, or wherein can the little power I have do you any good? For my mother told me that both my fortune as well as yours was wholly at your command, and that it must be my chief care to live virtuously and soberly."

ISCHOMACHUS.--This is true, good wife; but it is the part of a sober husband and virtuous wife not only to preserve the fortune they are possessed of, but to contribute equally to improve it.

WIFE.--And what do you see in me that you believe me capable of assisting in the improvement of your fortune? ISCHOMACHUS.--Use your endeavor, good wife, to do those things which are acceptable to the gods and are appointed by the law for you to do.

WIFE.--And what are those things, dear husband?

Ischomachus then enumerates the things which are acceptable to the gods and appointed by the law, and determines the limits which separate the duties of man from those of woman. He says: "The wisdom of the divinity has prepared the union of the two sexes, and has made of marriage an association useful to each one,--a union which will secure for them, in their children, support in their old age.