Visc. (after he has read the note to himself). This note is written in the most fashionable style, Madam, and is worthy of all your attention. (Reads aloud) "Madam, I could not have made you the present I send you if my garden did not bring me more fruit than my love…."
Coun. You see clearly by this that nothing has taken place between us.
Visc. "The pears are not quite ripe yet, but they will all the better match the hardness of your heart, the continued disdain of which promises me nothing soft and sweet. Allow me, Madam, without risking an enumeration of your charms, which would be endless, to conclude with begging you to consider that I am as good a Christian as the pears which I send you,[4] for I render good for evil; which is to say, to explain myself more plainly, that I present you with good Christian pears in return for the choke-pears which your cruelty makes me swallow every day.
Your unworthy slave,
THIBAUDIER."
Madam, this letter is worth keeping.
Coun. There may be a few words in it that are not of the Academy, but I observe in it a certain respect which pleases me greatly.
Ju. You are right, Madam, and even if the viscount were to take it amiss, I should love a man who would write so to me.
SCENE XVI.—MR. THIBAUDIER, THE VISCOUNT, THE COUNTESS, JULIA, CRIQUET.
Coun. Come here, Mr. Thibaudier; do not be afraid of coming in. Your note was well received, and so were your pears; and there is a lady here who takes your part against your rival.
Thi. I am much obliged to her, Madam, and if ever she has a lawsuit in our court, she may be sure that I shall not forget the honour she does me in making herself the advocate of my flame near your beauty.
Ju. You have no need of an advocate, Sir, and your cause has justice on its side.
Thi. This, nevertheless. Madam, the right has need of help, and I have reason to apprehend the being supplanted by such a rival, and the beguiling of the lady by the rank of the viscount.