Val. If you will try, I will give you ten pistoles.
Sgan. Ah! ten pistoles; well, I won't say I am no doctor, for you see, sir, I am not so scrupulous as to tell you the whole truth. But supposing I am a doctor, where shall I go?
Val. To the old man Gorgibus, to see his daughter who is ill; but you are a blockhead who, instead of doing what we want, might …
Sgan. Ah! sir, don't be anxious; I'll answer for it that I can kill anybody as well as any doctor in the town. The proverb usually is, "after death comes the doctor," but you will see that if I have anything to do with it, it will be, "after the doctor comes death!" But now, while I think of it, it must be difficult to play the doctor; and if I do nothing right…?
Val. There will be nothing difficult to do in this case. Gorgibus is a simpleton, a boor, who will readily believe everything you say, provided you speak to him of Hippocrates, of Galen, and that you have brass enough.
Sgan. You mean that I shall have to speak of philosophy and mathematics. Leave that to me; if he is a man as easily deceived as you say, I answer for everything. You have only to find me a doctor's gown, tell me what you expect from me, and give me my diploma, that is, my ten pistoles. ( Exeunt Valère and Sganarelle.)
SCENE III.——GORGIBUS, GROS-RENÉ.
Gor. Go quickly and fetch the doctor for my daughter who is very ill; make haste!
Gr.-Re. Why the deuce do you think of giving your daughter in marriage to an old man? Don't you see that it is the longing she has for a young one that makes her ill? See the attraction there is, &c.1
Gor. Go quickly! I am greatly afraid that the wedding will have to be put off on account of this illness.