Marriage among Assyrians is considered as sacred as the ordination of priests, but is subordinate to or less sacred than the sacrament of the Lord's supper or baptism. Therefore marriage is a solemn service and the rules relating to it are very strict. Engagements for marriage are made by the parents of the contracting parties rather than by the young people themselves. Girls are strictly forbidden speaking of or referring to marriage in the presence of their parents or brothers. If a young man loves a young lady, he does not ask his parents' consent to marriage, but tells his aunt or married sister about what cupid has done for him. This news is soon conveyed to his mother and then it is proper for her to call on the mother of the young lady. If not already acquainted with the young woman, this visit will give her an opportunity to form an opinion of her. If that opinion is favorable, all is well and the matter will be further considered. But if the opinion is unfavorable she returns home and tells her son that she is not pleased and does not want him to marry this girl. This method must be resorted to as the girls and boys in Assyria do not have an opportunity to associate as they do in America. Mothers always advise their girls not to walk with boys and young men, and custom does not permit it. Therefore, if she meets a young man in the street, she bows, and perhaps blushes a little, as she passes. If lovers are passing each other, custom does not allow them to stop and converse, but it does allow the young man to telegraph his message of love with a wink. Several months usually elapse between the engagement and marriage.
NESTORIAN WEDDING.
The method of making an engagement is quite different from that of Americans. After a mother has assured herself that a certain girl whom her son fancies would make him a good wife, she, with two or three relatives, will send word to the girl's parents that they will call at a certain time, and stay over night. While there the object of their visit will be made known and the matter discussed. If the girl's parents are ever so willing, they will not give their consent at the first visit, but will take the matter into consideration. The friends are invited to call again in two or three weeks for an answer. A third or fourth visit may be made before a final answer is obtained. At the last visit the father of the girl says, in reply to a request for an answer, that the girl does not belong to him. He says he gave her to his brother. The brother then says he gave her to his sister, etc., until the person is reached who can give her away. This man rises and says, "I give our daughter to Mr. and Mrs. —— as a handmaiden." The question now being settled, refreshments are served and the company rejoices until a late hour. Sometimes the foregoing proceedings are witnessed from an opening in the roof by the young man who is most interested and who is anxiously awaiting the result. During the period of the betrothal, the young man is allowed to make but one visit. He is not allowed to kiss his betrothed until after marriage. The Assyrian idea of a virgin is a pure maiden who is not married nor has ever been kissed by any man.
Two weeks before the wedding the young man's parents make another call to settle the amount of dowry with which to purchase wedding garments for the bride. The wedding feast lasts two or three days. On the last day a company of the groom's friends go to bring the bride. Dressed in her wedding garments, and seated on a fine horse she is taken to the groom's home. The company make merry on the way with music of drum and flute, and dancing. The horse is stopped about fifty yards from the house, and the groom appears on the roof of his father's house with three red apples in his hands. Kissing each one he tries to throw it over the bride. When the apples strike the ground there is a crowd of boys ready to scramble for them as there is a superstition that the lucky boy will be the next to marry. The bride now goes to her new home.
The wedding ceremony, which is performed by a minister and a deacon, is taken largely from the Bible. It lasts about two hours, during which time the bride and groom remain standing. The bride's dress covers her body and face from view except her forehead. She wears a crown and is called a queen. The groom wears a high feather on his crown, a sash around his chest and is called a king. For two months after the wedding they are called king and queen. They do no work during this time but visit and take life easy.
MOSLEM MARRIAGES.
The marriage ceremony of the Mohammedans takes place about a week before the formal wedding. It is very simple. Representatives of the contracting parties go to a priest and get two ceremonial letters, one for the bride, the other for the groom. In them is stated the sum necessary for the groom to pay, if he ever divorces the woman. It further states that it is the groom's duty to love this woman and all other women that he may marry thereafter. That it is the bride's duty to love the groom and no one else.
The prevailing low regard for woman grows out of the teaching of Mohammed. Among his last words he charged husbands not to place any confidence in their wives. He stated that they had been the cause of much of the crime and misery in the world.
When a Moslem goes out with his wife he is disgraced if she goes before or even beside him; she should follow. A man can marry four wives, but can divorce any one of them at any time. But a woman cannot get a divorce from her husband. A man is angry when his wife gives birth to a girl babe, and his friends fear to break the news to him. One man was known to be so angry when his fourth daughter was born, that he did not speak to his wife for three months. The mother of a son is loved the more, and the first person who breaks the news to the father is given a present.