"You have done well, my boy." And she shut the door and went back to her own room to finish stitching at her son's shirt-collar.
CHAPTER XXXIII
CHARCOAL
Eveline had resolved to make a great effort. She recognized that there was truth in what Arpad had said; only in one particular he was wrong: he had not measured the gulf between "can" and "must."
She felt herself possessed by sudden energy; her resolution to succeed grew in proportion as her chance of success was less. Many people have found strength in the thought, "If I have no one to care for me, I, at least, am master of myself." She would carve her own future; she would be an actress. She would show the world what was in her. She would nerve herself to courage before the footlights. The very circumstances which had deprived her of all courage would now give her strength; she would sing to the public as if she were alone. The crowd should go for nothing, except in being sharers in her triumph.
She spent a miserable night. The luxury which surrounded her, the works of art which lay upon her tables, in her cabinets, the costly vases, seemed silently to reproach her; the cups set with precious stones recalled Arpad's words. Better to be a glass of fifteen sous than a goblet of silver!
At last sleep fell upon her tired eyelids, and in the morning she awoke refreshed and full of fresh energy.
This day the opera in which she had sung the day before yesterday was to be repeated. The rehearsal was to take place in the morning. At this rehearsal, then, she would show what she could do; she would look at no one; she would sing like a blind nightingale.
She ordered her carriage. When she reached the theatre she told the servants to return for her in two hours.
As she entered the vestibule the stage-manager came to meet her, and told her that her part had been given to another singer.