When? I cannot precisely state the date; though so far I may confidently affirm,—it was after the French war, and before the cholera, that I was turned out of school in disgrace.
Ah yes, I behaved very ill indeed! I sinned against civilisation by refusing to wear square-toed boots, and for this enormity I was banished from the classes; and yet, nothing could induce me to wear anything but sharp-nosed csizmas.
I went home; and my father, after inflicting severe corporal punishment, threatened to bind me apprentice to a butcher. But, unfortunately for this speculation, the resident executioner of oxen declared that the trade required wit; otherwise I might now have possessed a two-story house in Pesth.
"You hit where you have your eye, master, don't you?" I asked the worthy slayer of cattle as he raised his axe, observing (for he squinted hideously) that he fixed his right eye on the bullock, and the left one on me.
"Eh! to be sure I do," replied the big man.
"Then I will just place myself beside you," I said, fearing he might look out of the wrong eye.
"Never fear," said the big man; and with one blow the work was done.
"Well now, Master Janos, tell me what peculiar talents are requisite here?"
"Heigh! you would not do for this trade. You see we have a different way of reckoning from what you students have."
"I believe you are right, Master Janos; for my mother is always complaining of your system of twice two."