Told by the death's head

by Mór Jókai

I thought over what I had to lose if I accepted the position: Honor? I had very little left; but, if I had squandered it I had done so with my sword and musket, idled it away in a hundred ways—though never in the despicable manner suggested to me by my captain.

But I had been persecuted and cursed for trying to do good—what use to try again? Besides, I hadn't anything to lose: I might as well eat and drink away the little self-respect and honor I still possessed.

At the end of the half hour, the captain came for my decision. I said:

"I accept your offer, sir—here's my hand on it!"

I held out my hand, and so did he; but, before they came together, each of us drew back—each prompted by the same thought: "This fellow's hand is more soiled than mine—I cannot take it!"

But, I married the donna that afternoon, bestowing on her one of my numerous names; and after the chaplain of the regiment had performed the ceremony, this thought involuntarily suggested itself to me: "Hugo, my lad, you are not the only one cheated in this business."

From that hour it went well with my body—and luckily one's stomach does not possess a conscience! In addition to a well-filled larder and cellar, I had a title—I was called "adjutant."

I saw my bride only at table; how frequently the captain visited my quarters I cannot say. When he was obliged to absent himself on duty connected with the campaign, he would always try to surprise her by an unexpected return.

One day she was more than surprised when her lover was brought back to camp minus his head; he had had the misfortune to get within range of a cannon shot from the enemy's lines.

My situation now became anything but agreeable. I ceased to be an adjutant, but I was still the husband of my wife—a rôle I found it exceedingly difficult to continue. The woman had been accustomed to every luxury; but, as money does not fall from the sky, I found great difficulty in providing her with the bare necessities of life. One after another of the costly ornaments she had received from the captain were disposed of to supply her numerous demands, until all were gone. Then she began to quarrel with me and accused me with trying to starve her.