If in the vehicle, at the office, or gate, or any place requiring the payment of fare, and you meet a lady friend who has not as yet paid her fare, do not offer to do so for her, as it is very bad form, and presents the appearance of a desire on your part to let people know you have money, and the act more or less reflects upon the lady’s purse. If accompanying a lady into a store, do not offer to buy her this and that; such an act is simply out of consideration; it is an affront to her purse, and she rejects your offer; no lady would accept it unless for some very trifling purchase.
5. When in any crowded public conveyance, a lady gets in, always rise immediately and notify her of the vacancy. Do not think, because you are tired, you are justified in keeping the seat, for you do not know but that the lady is just as tired as yourself. Again, when you see a small space between two ladies, do not try to wedge yourself in; it is better to be uncomfortable yourself, than to cause discomfort to the ladies. Do not lean over or against a lady when holding the strap overhead, and she is seated below. Always, if next the fare-box, offer to deposit a lady’s fare, especially in stages. Never in city conveyances, if a conductor is at hand, offer your assistance in raising or lowering a window, but solicit the conductor to do it for you; if none is upon or in the conveyance, then lend your help.
6. When asking a lady to drive, do so only on an advanced acquaintance, and do not keep her out after dark. Take care not to allow the whip to dangle in her face, and, in urging on the horses, do so in an easy manner, without that sudden start which throws the lady so violently back in her seat. Do not talk about horses; it is a very poor subject, and savors of poor taste. In calling for a lady do not keep her waiting, but have the vehicle at the door on time. If possible to leave the reins loose on the horses, step out and help the lady into the vehicle, then pass round to the other side and take your seat, carefully adjusting the lap-robe over both. Do not keep up a continuous chuckle to the horses, as it is a very monotonous sound, but use the whip. A full driving suit should always be worn if a lady accompanies you. Always wear gloves in driving. If you have spirited horses to handle, it is not necessary while driving to take off the hat when recognizing a person; a smile and an inclination of the head are sufficient, for taking off the hat interferes considerably with your management of the animals, and has often resulted in serious accidents. Do not take a lady riding in the morning. The afternoon from three till five is the proper time. Never on any account drive on Sunday. Never take a lady in a light wagon or buggy, or out with fast horses, in the city, for it is not stylish; in fact, such turnouts are common, as in use only by sporting men or horse lovers.
7. Riding should be confined to the morning as much as possible, and a complete outfit worn upon all occasions. Especially is this urged when with a lady. Always keep head and neck of your own horse beyond your companion’s, if a lady, in view of being able and prepared to assist her in case of fright or accident to her horse. Always assist her in mounting and alighting from her horse.
8. Sailing is a pastime which can be indulged in at leisure by a gentleman who knows a thing or two about such pleasure; whether he has confidence in his ability or not, if he ventures upon that pleasure he does so at his own risk. But when he has a lack of knowledge, and lack of confidence in his ability to handle a boat, not under any consideration should he venture to invite a lady to accompany him. To take ladies sailing, when you are ignorant of the methods of handling sailing craft, is a risk that often has frightful results; these have been often seen, where summer men who know positively nothing about the art of sailing have issued invitations, and ventured on their perilous, uncertain pleasure. Always take a skipper, and no danger will arise. Take care to look first after the comfort of the ladies, and always provide cushions, field-glasses, and especially ice-water in view of a calm. This latter is very often neglected, to the great distress of the ladies when the boat is becalmed. The writer can safely make this suggestion, as he had such an experience himself.
PERSONAL APPEARANCE
Section 1. The hands should always be kept clean. Do not think because you have gloves on that you are safe in neglecting your hands. You may be suddenly called upon to perform some act which would necessitate taking off the gloves, thus exposing soiled hands. The nails should be kept perfectly clean and projecting about one-twelfth of an inch from the tender flesh and not too pointed, and are to be only slightly polished. All hang-nails should be cut off, and advanced flesh pushed back from the root of the nails. Do not wear too many rings. A gentleman should never have on more than two, and those to be placed one on each hand. Always place them on the fingers next the little ones. Large diamonds should not be worn; one carat is the usual weight. Also, do not wear broad bands of gold, they are very common-looking on a gentleman; a seal-ring or intaglio is quite sufficient. Never wear bracelets, it is exceedingly effeminate. And, above all, do not wear ladies’ rings.