“Ugh! I can’t wait for laggards.—Here, you, [addressing Tom Hulme,] answer for him.—What’s his name?” [to Martha].
“Nathaniel,” she faltered.
“I, Nathaniel, take thee, Martha, to be my——” he went on, insisting on the response of Tom, who looked aghast at the prospect of marrying the wrong woman, and being told “to pair as they went out,” as Joshua had summarily adjusted a like mistake heretofore; or what was worse, of being saddled with two wives.
On imperturbable Joshua went with the ceremony, bent on a marriage by proxy. His experience having taught him that women of the working class as a rule took charge of their wedding-rings, he asked Martha for hers, which was duly produced, and without further ado he directed Tom Hulme to place it on Martha’s finger, as he had previously put one on Bess’s, and with the same formula.
They had got as far as “With this ring I thee wed,” when the missing bridegroom came in hot haste through the side door into the chancel, closely followed by Jabez, who had been in quest of him.
He was flushed with ale and excitement, but was clear-headed enough to perceive what was going forward, and to the chaplain’s chagrin, plucked the young woman back from the altar and his proxy, and the ring rolled to the ground.
Then ensued an altercation between the butcher and Joshua Brookes, the latter insisting that what was good enough for princes might be good enough for him, and refusing to go over the ceremony again. But an apparitor drew the tardy bridegroom aside, and whispered to him a few mollifying words, whilst Joshua concluded the ceremonial, and then hurried from the altar with hardly a look at either Jabez or Simon as he passed out of the chancel, chafed and angry. Another clergyman took his place, and in the next group Nat Bradshaw and the half-married Martha took theirs. The lost ring had a substitute provided by the clerk for such emergencies; and this time they were as surely married as Bess and Tom had been.
Jabez had found the truant bridegroom at the “Ring-o’-Bells,” oblivious of the flight of time, or of his party. The story having got wind, there was a general rush in their direction.
“Here’s th’ mon wur too late to be wed!”—“Tak’ care thi woife hasna two husbants!”—“Hoo’s getten two husbants o’ready!”—“See thah’s tied oop gradely, lass!”—“Thah’rt a pratty fellow!” and much more which might have provoked a man less good-humoured in his cups.