The Adventures of an Ugly Girl

by Mrs. George Corbett

When I remembered how truly artistic was my lover’s temperament, it seemed incredible to me that he could be perfectly contented with a wife whose chief function in society seemed to be to act as a foil to those women whom nature had endowed more liberally with outward charms. And if the time were to come when it would become incumbent upon me to recognize the conviction that Sergius had mistaken his sentiments for me, and that he regretted his precipitancy, how would I be able to bear my life?

Suppose, after the irrevocable knot was tied, my husband were to wake up some day to the knowledge that he loved another woman? Suppose—but by the time I had thus foolishly and fruitlessly tormented myself, it was beyond my power to endure even the thought of another self-stabbing supposition, and a reaction invariably set in. Surely Sergius, who was chivalry, gentleness and bravery personified, and who was esteemed by all his friends for his powers of observation and his clear, cool insight into human nature, would not belie his character just where I was concerned! To believe it was to doubt all his good qualities, and I rated myself an ingrate for entertaining such heretical sentiments for one moment.

If the reader is inclined to subscribe to this last opinion, perhaps he or she will kindly credit fate with at least a portion of the mental perversity which at times tormented me almost beyond endurance. It had been so often impressed upon me all my life long that I could never hope to win the true and lasting regard of any man, that it was surely natural for me to doubt the endurance of the happiness which seemed to be within my grasp.

But these freaks of fancy could not withstand the sunny presence of my worshiped Sergius himself, who was apt to flatter me almost as much as the Earl of Greatlands had done, and who seemed never tired of praising the now luxuriant silken rings of my hair, my long-lashed, expressive eyes, and my graceful figure, not to speak of my rich olive complexion. On most of these counts I let him talk without protest on my part. Although I knew that his opinion of me was ridiculously disproportionate to my deserts, my anxiously observant eyes could not blind themselves to the fact that my outward presentment was a vast improvement upon its old self.

But when Sergius actually ventured to praise my face, and above all, my inveterately snubby nose, I put down his flatteries with a firm hand. It was in vain for him to quote Tennyson, and speak of my unfortunate organ as “tiptilted.” There are degrees and proportions of tiptiltedness, and I had measured the depths of unhappiness too often through “that hideous nose” to allow my vanity to persuade me into believing its disabilities removed.

Still, I was no longer miserable about it; indeed, I grew rather proud of it than otherwise. For if that nose had not had the power to repel Sergius, it was henceforth to be regarded as the most prominent existing proof of the genuineness of his affection.

And, after all, what mattered it, since, when the glamour of self-torment was off me, I knew myself to be my lover’s idol and the hope of his existence, miraculous though such a state of things seemed?

My friends, too, were of the kindest and most considerate ones of the earth. Thus there seemed nothing to hinder me from being perfectly happy, and as my wedding-day approached nearer and nearer I grew more and more confident of the future, for neither envy nor hatred conspired to wreck my prospects, as had been the case before the dawning of that other wedding-day.

I was writing to Lady Elizabeth, to express my regret at her inability to come to the wedding, and to thank her for her generosity and good wishes, when Sergius was announced, and I hastily finished and sealed my missive. For was not this the last day of my spinsterhood? And did I not owe my beloved every moment I could spare?

“I hope you have finished all your preparations, sweetheart, and that no one else expects any attention from you to-day,” said Sergius. “For I mean to monopolize you altogether.”