“He thought I was Lilias!” said Nan, glancing at Gervase with laughing eyes. “Think of that! He will be surprised when he sees her, won’t he? But I knew who he was in a moment. Now, tell me honestly, would you rather I went away? I came meaning to stay to tea, but if you don’t feel able to talk to two people at once I’ll come again when you are alone. I won’t be a scrap offended!”
Mr Vanburgh smiled.
“I am sure you would not, but I should like you to stay, please. We want you to pour out tea for us; and I won’t attempt to talk, but just lie still and amuse myself listening to you.”
“But I never can be amusing when I try,—can you?” said Nan, appealing to Gervase with a friendly smile. “The girls at home think I am amusing, because I generally say the wrong thing at the wrong moment, which may be entertaining to them, but is very poor fun for me. Maud says I speak first and think afterwards; but what can I do? I once made a vow to cure myself of being impetuous by counting twenty slowly before I began to speak, and I kept it religiously two whole days. They seemed like a month; and if I had persevered I should have become dumb, for by the time I had counted twenty the conversation had hopped on to another subject, and any remark was hopelessly out of date! So now I have gone back to my old ways, and say my say, and take the consequences.”
“You don’t look to me as if you were given to making painful remarks,” Gervase remarked in a conciliatory tone, and Nan straightened her back in defence of her own behaviour.
“Wouldn’t hurt a fly! That’s the worst part of it. For I am so soft-hearted over other people’s woes, that I shed tears regularly every time I meet a tramp, and he tells me that he is a discharged seaman who has lost his certificate, and only needs four and sixpence to take him to a port where he is certain to find fresh work. They always have lost their certificates and want a railway fare, but I can’t help relieving them and handing-over last Saturday’s money. But a tender heart is not much use if you make awkward remarks and quote people’s own doings to their faces, as capital jokes against somebody else! I got into terrible trouble in that way with a caller only the other day, and if I had had any sense I should have stopped in time, for I had plenty of warning. Her face grew all stiff and rigid, and I wondered what in the world had given Elsie such a cough all of a sudden. Is there any cure, do you think, for a habit like this—anything I could do to make myself careful?”
There was a pause while the two men looked at the eager face, smiled, and grew sober, as the question awoke memories from their own past.
“A practical kindness of heart, Nan, which is not satisfied with facile tears and offerings, but takes continual thought of the feelings of others!”
“Or a severe lesson!” added the younger man thoughtfully. “If you wounded some one very near and dear, and saw them suffer through your thoughtlessness, you could never forget it. I learnt that for myself long ago, when—”
But Nan heard no more of what he said, for, with a flash, her eager mind had leapt to the solution of the mystery. More love! That was what was needed. Love, the cure for every human fault. She applied the test to her own experience, and found it abundantly proven. Had any word or deed of hers hurt Maud through the period of ultra-sensitiveness through which that dear sister had passed? Ten thousand times, no! On the contrary, she had been quick to ward off blows, to turn dangerous conversations into new channels, to stand between the sufferer and the world. Where she loved it was obvious that she could show both care and tact; it was want of love which lay at the root of her thoughtless acts and speeches. Gervase looked up at the conclusion of his story, to find the girl staring blankly across the room, with a glimmer of tears in the brown eyes, and was at a loss to guess the meaning.