Chapter Fifteen.
It was a very subdued, a very humble, a touchingly affectionate Etheldreda who made her appearance at The Meads a few days later, and her mother and sisters regarded her demeanour with anxious curiosity.
“Poor darling, poor darling! She is so sweet and quiet—I’m glad, of course; very glad,” repeated Mrs Saxon, with a forced emphasis, which seemed to show that she needed to convince herself of her own sincerity, “but it seems so short a time to have brought about such a change. I’m afraid she has been unhappy!”
Rowena stared thoughtfully at the fire. Her face looked older, the cheeks less rounded, the red lips dropping at the corner. She was a beautiful girl, but the old sparkle had given place to an air of weary endurance sad to see on a young face. At the moment when she had expected most of life, she had been obliged to give up her dreams, and to accept in their place a monotonous, uneventful existence, which left too much time for the indulgence of her own thoughts. The weather was depressing, visitors few and far between, and, from a girl’s point of view, lacking in interest when they did arrive. Maud was stupid and obstinate, Dreda and the boys at school, and the parents depressed. Lessons, walking, and practising occupied the days until four o’clock, then the curtains were drawn, the lamps lit, and each afternoon afresh Rowena counted up the long hours which must elapse before bedtime, and asked herself how she could get through the time. Poor Rowena! She had counted the days until Dreda’s return, and now felt yet another pang of depression at meeting this subdued edition of her lively sister. She sighed in melancholy, long-drawn fashion, while Maud wriggled and grimaced.
“I expect she’s misunderstood. There’s lots of people are, besides the book. I know One who is. She’s misunderstood by people who think they know best, and are always scolding and finding fault. ‘’Tis better far to rule by love than fear.’ I shall, when I’m big. You could do something then, but when people are always grumbling, it’s no use trying. I expect Dreda has some one like that, and it’s broken her spirit. If you don’t let her leave, she’ll pine away and die!”
“Is that what you contemplate doing yourself beneath the persecution of the people, or person, to whom you so eloquently refer? I must give you a lesson in nominatives to-morrow, my dear. They are evidently another point which is misunderstood,” retorted Rowena with cutting composure. It was one of the little encounters which was daily, almost hourly, taking place between the two sisters, whose widely differing dispositions seemed to jar more than ever in the close relationship of teacher and pupil. Mrs Saxon was greatly troubled by the continual friction, and she, like her daughter, had been anxiously looking forward to Dreda’s visit as a healthful enlivening influence which could not fail to do good. And now Dreda was so mysteriously subdued and silent! What had happened to change the child so strangely in six short weeks?
As for Miss Dreda herself, she was not only conscious of, but felt an acute enjoyment in observing the anxiety of her relatives on her behalf, and, like a true actress, warmed to her part under the consciousness of an audience. The more intently did her mother’s eyes regard her, the more meek and downcast became her air; she figuratively turned the other cheek to Maud’s tactless sallies, and played humble handmaid to Rowena’s lightest wish. For one whole day—and then of a sudden weariness fell upon her. She reflected with horror that only two more days of the exeat remained, and determined to waste not another moment in repining. Within five minutes’ time from the forming of this decision Maud was dumbfounded to find herself brutally snubbed, while a request from Rowena was received with a callous exhortation to “Do it yourself!”
“I was wondering how long it would last,” said Rowena, with a smile. “It was really an admirable impersonation, but what was the idea, Dreda? I can’t quite see what you were driving at, but I suppose there was some reason behind!”
“Yes, there was; several reasons! I’ve recovered, Rowena, because I am young and elastic, and time is a wonderful healer—but I’ve been through awful difficulties! Treachery and humiliation, and things turning to dust and ashes when you expected to enjoy them most. Talk of martyrdoms!”—Dreda rolled her eyes to the ceiling—“I look back, my dear, to the time when I lived quietly at home, and I can’t believe it was the same person!”
“Rubbish! Bunkum! Bosh! What high-falutin’ you talk, Dreda! You’re not changed a bit, and I’m glad of it, for, oh, my dear, I have missed you! I’ve been so dull! Come down from your stilts and talk sensibly. I’m aching for a good old talk.”