“I did know! Every minute of the day you would have been with them,—following them, seeing, imagining, hearing, torturing yourself, squandering your strength! My dear, I am a woman too! I did know. So I lied, and the day passed by in peace, here with the dear nuns, and you knew nothing—nothing!”
“Thank God!” cried Cassandra again. “It was a blessed lie. I shall be thankful to you all my life for what it spared me, Grizel. It’s a weight rolled off.”
She stood silent, with drawn brows, nerving herself to the new facts. Dane married. Dane a husband. Dane happy with his girl wife. For he would be happy. Cassandra realised that fact, and the acknowledgment brought with it, not joy, but at least a chastened relief. He would never altogether forget the woman who had been his ideal mate, but as a sane, honest man he would thrust the thought of her farther and farther into the background, while the tendrils of affection would twine more closely round wife and child. Teresa had been brave and patient; now she would have her reward. The husband of the future would be more her lover than the bridegroom of to-day.
Cassandra leant her arms on the low walls, and gazed over the country beneath. All was flat, and bare, and uninteresting, one square meadow succeeding another, divided by the same dwarfed line of hedgeway; a monotonous outlook, beautified only where the sun lent the glory of colour.
“And so,” said Cassandra slowly, “it all ends! ... I waited for a big thing to fill my heart, and it came, and was more wonderful, more beautiful, than I had ever imagined... And it passed, and I am left to go on. All my life is before me, but the big thing has passed. Grizel! it doesn’t seem possible that it should all be over...”
“You are thirty-two, Cassandra. The big things of life are not all over at thirty-two.”
Cassandra sighed sharply.
“So you say—so you say... You are thinking of the future, of long years ahead, but I have to face life to-day; to walk along a flat, dull road, and leave the sunshine behind.” She flung out her arms towards the country below. “Look at it, Grizel! My lot lies there. And I’ve been on the heights!”
“You are thirty-two, Cassandra,” Grizel said. “The heights are not all over at thirty-two.”
But again Cassandra refused the comfort.