“You foolish fellow!” he cried. “You foolish fellow! You were always a bad hand at deception, and you are no cleverer than usual this evening. What are you afraid of, man? I’m not a coward! If my time’s come, I can face it calmly. Back injured, eh? That’s why I felt no pain, but it’s difficult to realise that an injury is hopeless, when one is so comparatively comfortable. How long will it be?”
He was perfectly calm, but the doctor was trembling with emotion, and his voice was rough with tears.
“I can’t say. You are very ill, old man—I won’t deceive you—but while there is life there is hope. We are going to have a man from Dublin; we will try every means, and you must help us by keeping up your heart. One never knows what changes may take place.” But the Major only looked at him the more steadily and repeated his question.
“How long will it be? I ought to know, so that I may do what I can for the children. I haven’t been the best of fathers to them, and the estate is in a rare muddle. And Jack! What about Jack? I’d like to see him again, but if it’s not imminent, I won’t bring him back just yet. The boy is doing well, but he is not his own master, and has just had a holiday. I must be unselfish in my last days, but you must promise, doctor, not to let me go without seeing Jack!”
“My dear fellow, it’s not a question of days! At the worst it will be weeks, possibly months. My own opinion is two or three months, but we shall know better after Barrett has been down. I wish you had not asked me. It’s the hardest work I’ve ever had to do, to tell you this; but for the children’s sake—If there is anything to be done, you ought not to waste time!”
“I understand!” said the Major quietly, then suddenly a light flashed across his face, and his eyes sparkled as with joy. “I shall die at Knock!” he cried. “I shall not have to turn out after all! It was that that drove me mad, O’Brien—the thought of leaving the old place where I was born, and all my people before me! I had bad news from the bank, and it seemed as if the end had come at last, and all the time I was riding I was feeling desperate—driven into a corner. The poor beast tried to save me, she knew the jump was too much for her, but I was too reckless to care. I felt that I could face death sooner than leave the old place, and now it has come to that after all. I shall die at Knock! Thank God for that! Go downstairs, O’Brien, and tell the girls that I know the truth, and am quite happy. You needn’t mind leaving me. I shall sleep now!”