“And a flirt?”
“Yes.”
“And very cruel to you sometimes, Jim?” said Vere in that new, sweet, gentle voice.
“You didn’t mean it, darling. It was only thoughtlessness.”
“No, no! I did mean it! It was dreadful of me, but I liked to experiment and feel my power. You had better know the truth once for all; it will help you to forget all about such a wretched girl.”
“Nothing can make me forget. You could tell me what you like about yourself, it would make no difference; I am past all that. You are the one woman in the world for me. At first it was your beauty which attracted me, but that stage was over long ago. It makes no difference to me now how you look. Nothing makes any difference. If you were never to leave that couch—”
But she called out at that, interrupting him sharply—
“Don’t say it! Don’t suggest for a moment that it is possible! Oh, Jim, you don’t believe it! You don’t really think I could be like this all my life? I will be very good, and do all they say, and keep quiet and not excite myself. I will do anything—anything—but I must get better in the end! I could not bear a life like this!”
“The doctors all tell us you will recover in time, darling, but it’s a terribly hard waiting. I wish I could bear the pain for you; but you will let me do what I can, won’t you, Vere? I am a dull stick. No one knows it better than I do myself, but make use of me just now; let me fetch and carry for you; let me run down every few weeks to see you, and give you the news. It will bind you to nothing in the future. Whatever happens, I should be grateful to you all my life for giving me so much happiness.”
“Dear old Jim! You are too good for me. How could I possibly say ‘No’ to such a request?” sighed Vere softly. I think she was very nearly crying just then, but I made another desperate effort to interest myself in Maud, and soon afterwards he went away.