He turned towards me with a violence of voice and manner so unlike his usual composed, half-quizzical manner, that I was quite aghast, and did not know how to reply. For the first time a doubt of his own happiness sprang into my mind, and once there it seemed to grow bigger and bigger with every moment that passed. He did not speak like a happy man; he did not look like a man whose heart was at rest. Looking at him closely, I saw a network of lines about his mouth, which I had never noticed before; his eyes looked tired and sunken. He has changed since I saw him first a year ago, and yet there seems nothing to account for it, for his circumstances are all the same. Is he depressed because Rachel still puts off their marriage? Oh, if I were in her place I could not endure to see him looking ill and sad, and still leave him alone! Nothing should keep me away! I’d jump over the moon to get to his side!
We stood still in the middle of the quiet path and stared at each other. I don’t know what he was thinking, but my own thoughts made me blush and change the subject hurriedly.
“Oh, I mean to be happy! I have had so much anxiety and trouble this last year that I’m just bubbling over with pent-up spirits. This engagement has put the finishing touch to my self-control, and I must do something at once to let off steam. Did you hear me ask Rachel to go over to Farnham with us to-morrow? Father and mother and I are going to do it in record time in the new motor, and Rachel is coming, too. She has never been in a motor, and is eager to see what it is like. It’s quite a triumph to get her to accept an invitation, isn’t it? You can come, too, if you like; there’s room for another, and the more the merrier. Do come, and let us all be happy together! We could have such a merry day!”
He hesitated for a moment, then laughed in a sort of reckless way, and cried loudly:
“Yes, let us be happy! It is only for one day. Let us throw care to the winds, and think of nothing but our own enjoyment. Oh, yes, I’ll come! We will have a happy day, Babs—a happy day together!”
So now it is all arranged, and I am longing for the time to come. We three will sit together on the back seat and talk all the time, and, as Will says, I shall just forget everything in the world I don’t care to remember, and enjoy every minute of the time.
Chapter Twenty Three.
September 6th, 11 PM.