“I’d like to, if you will let me. I—I was rude to you—that day! I’ve been remorseful ever since. If you’d allow me to do this, I should feel that I was forgiven.”
“You spoke the truth,” she said shortly. “And I brought it on myself. I had no business to complain about those poor children, knowing why they were here; but there are some moods in which one is bound to have a vent. You hurt my pride, of course, but—it’s not the first time!” She bit her lip, turned aside for a moment, then added quickly, “I didn’t tell John!”
“Thank you. I’m glad of that. He’ll be more willing to let me come. Please tell him that I’m so sorry to have disturbed him, and want to ‘make up’ by helping him while he is ill. My time is my own. I can go any day—at any time—to read any book.”
She made no promise, and for several days seemed to avoid meeting me face to face, then one morning she came to the door and asked to see me. Some business had arisen which necessitated a day out of town. Her husband dreaded being left alone. Did I really mean my kind offer, and if so would to-morrow afternoon—
I went. He is a dark, sharp-featured man, with thick eyebrows and a chronic scowl. He also looks shockingly ill, and is growing a beard. The combination is enough to strike terror into the feminine soul. The very maid who opened the door looked pityingly at me when I pronounced his name; as for his nurse, she fairly bounced with relief when I was announced. Her expression said as plainly as words, “I’ve had my turn—now you can have yours!”
“Harding?” he said graciously. “Oh, yes! You are the woman who bangs the doors.” He let me read for two hours on end, and then said, “Stupid book. I can’t think how they ever get published!” but when I left, he asked, “When will you come again?” which was as far in the way of thanks as it is possible for him to get.
For the next three weeks I went constantly to the Home, and never once did that man say a gracious word. If I arrived late, he growled and said, “Thought you were never coming! Hardly worth beginning at all.” If I was early, his greeting was, “I was just having a nap! Haven’t closed my eyes since two this morning, and now you have roused me up!” If I read a book, he preferred a newspaper. If I read a newspaper, it crackled, and worried his head. If I made a remark, he disagreed; if I was silent, “Was there no news?—nothing going on to tell a poor wretch tied to his bed?” If I said he looked better, he would have me to know that nurses and doctors alike were deluding him with lies. He knew for a fact that he was dying fast. If I said he looked tired, he felt better than he had done all the week. It was impossible to please him—impossible to win a smile or a gracious word. Never have I met a human being so twisted and warped in mind. To go into his room is like entering a black tunnel—one leaves it with the feeling of breaking bonds. The matron of the Home is a brisk, capable woman, with a face full of kindly strength; we generally met and exchanged a few words on stairs or landing, and it was easy to see that her patience was wearing thin. There came a day when she met me with a red face, beckoned me into her private room, and poured forth a stream of angry confidences.
“I really must speak to some one about Mr Travers. His poor wife has enough to bear. I can’t trouble her. The man is insufferable; he upsets the whole house. His nurse has just been to me in tears. Nothing will please him. He rings his bell all day, and half the night, and for nothing—literally nothing! Just an excuse to give trouble. We have honestly done our best—more than our best. With such a patient it is easier to give in than to protest, but I’m beginning to think we’ve been wrong. He is not getting on as quickly as he should. I believe his temper is keeping him back.”
“I’m sure of it! You are an expert at healing, and I’m a beginner, but I’m a great believer in the power of the mind. He is poisoning himself.”
“He is poisoning every one else! I can’t submit to have my whole house upset. If he were fit to be moved, he should be out of it to-day. It’s all I can do to be civil, and not blaze out, and tell him what I think!”