"Upon my soul, I wish I might!" he said, in a low, eager tone, and secretly encouraged by her positive assertions.
"Then if you really wish it, suppose you begin at once," Helen proposed, with inspiring energy. "Take some of this money your uncle has sent, get what materials you need, and go to work, doing a little—what you are able—every day. Make out a list of what you require, and I will place the order for you; here are pencil and paper. I will come for the memorandum directly after breakfast to-morrow morning, take it to Bronson's, have the things sent up immediately, and you can make a beginning before the day is out."
She pushed some writing materials across the cable to him, and then arose to go.
The man lifted a wondering glance to her.
"Helen, you are a marvel to me! You have put new life into me," he said, with deep emotion. "I am simply overwhelmed by your goodness—I wonder that your heart is not filled with bitter hatred for me."
Helen flushed consciously at his words, and moved away to the mantel, where she stood musing for a few minutes as she gazed down upon the glowing logs in the fireplace below.
How she had struggled with the demon of hate no one save herself would ever know. But she had finally conquered her foe. She knew she had, from the simple fact that she experienced only the feeling of satisfaction in knowing that John would get well—that she wanted him to get well; while she firmly believed that he would be a better man in the future for the helping hand she had given him and the interest she had manifested in him. No, she no longer bore him the slightest ill will; instead of cherishing antagonism and resentment, she had come to regard him as her "neighbor," a brother man, for whom she would do only as she would be done by; and, having once attained this attitude, a great burden of self-condemnation had rolled from her heart and left her at peace with him and the world.
"No, John, I have no hatred for you," she at length gravely observed, but without turning toward him. "Once I—I could not have said this, but I have learned, through bitter experience, that hate harms the hater rather than the object of his hatred; that it corrodes, corrupts, and destroys him mentally, morally, and spiritually; and to-day I can truly say that I only wish you well—wish that you may grow strong, not only physically, but in every other higher and better sense of the word, and make for yourself a name and place in the world, that will compel all men to respect you. I know you can do it, if you will."
As she ceased she turned abruptly, and, with a low-voiced good night, slipped from the room before he could detain her.
The man sat motionless and absorbed in thought for a long time after she had gone. Every word she had spoken had sunk deep into his consciousness, and had shown him, directly and indirectly, not only what she had overcome and suffered in her struggles with adverse circumstances, but how she had won the greatest battle of all—the conquest over self. At last he lifted his bowed head, and revealed a face all aglow with a new and inspiring purpose; at the same time there was a look of keenest pain in his eyes.