By the One Divine.”
In no case be easy and lenient to that which is sin,—not merely childish sport or thoughtlessness. Root up the smallest germ from which mean, low, or wicked habits will spring, with a kind but uncompromising firmness. You cannot guard your charge too closely here; but be most scrupulously careful that you are not overhasty in judging of the character of their faults, but have rightfully distinguished between deliberate, intentional wrong-doing and childish folly. Let your children feel that for the first you accept no excuse; for the latter you are lenient, full of loving-kindness and tender mercy. For disobedience that springs from stubbornness and a willful determination to do that which is forbidden at all hazards, be not cruel and harsh, but firm, and so severe that the child will have no doubt of your resolution to destroy the evil by meeting each act with quick retribution. Yet when compelled to punish, be so careful of your own heart that your erring one cannot but see that you are severe from no one emotion of anger, or because you are made uncomfortable, but because God has committed them to your care, and will demand a strict account of your stewardship. Be sure, in your dealings with your children, that they have no difficulty in seeing that you recognize a wide difference between overt sins and wrong done through childish thoughtlessness and ignorance; and while you gently point out the inconvenience and mischief apparent in consequence of their careless acts, seek to make it plain to them that you restrain because you do not like them to seek their sports and amusements selfishly, and at the expense of others’ comfort. Before you decide that any act of your children is really sinful and deserving punishment, examine and hear all that can be said in excuse or palliation.
Then as to the mode of punishment, when it really becomes necessary, we think the parents’ judgment ought to be the surest guide, as they should better understand the characters they have to deal with. Some children, when they find that punishment is sure to follow wrong-doing, submit easily; others are resolute or defiant, and these traits should decide the nature of such infliction as the parent finds unavoidable. There are times with certain children when we think a sound whipping the most curative process; while to others it would be so humiliating as to irreparably injure the child’s character; but a whipping is not needed once, where some young, inexperienced, but conscientious parents employ it twenty times. Where it must be resorted to, let it be sufficiently severe to make a repetition a thing to be dreaded; but, if brutal, it is simply barbarity, not justice.
Never, under any circumstances, strike a child on the head or box the ears. That is the act of anger, and in general is practiced only when the judgment is overruled by passion. Do not attempt to turn a child from the “error of his ways” by any such heathenish means. No one can judge at the time of the force of a blow dealt in anger; and though done thoughtlessly, in a moment of irritation, it may bring life-long suffering and sorrow. So, shutting up a child in a dark room, though it may not appear at the time so barbarous, has often resulted in the most painful, if not fatal injuries. Neither do we approve of attempting to convert a child through its appetite; a dark room, a cup of water, and a crust of bread savors too much of the inquisition or the convict’s cell for Christian parents to imitate.
After all, each one must be a law unto himself. Another cannot give special rules for any one; but there is one thing that it may be well for every parent to bear in mind always, namely, that probably a large proportion of the evil we find in our children is but the continuation or increase of our own faults, unheeded while they were our own. And this should teach us great caution, great love and gentleness in governing our little imitators. Mrs. Mary Crann, some years ago, published some pretty verses on “The Little Foxes,” which spoil our “beloved vines.” They are very touching, because so true, and mothers cannot fail to read them with deep feeling, and with full hearts thank the author who in these lines gives utterance to the sorrow and self-condemnation which so often oppress them, when their own faults and failings look at them through their little ones. We think we cannot do better than to finish by giving our readers the whole poem:—
“Little foxes, spoiling
The beloved vine
Trusted to my tending
By the One Divine.
Little foxes, wherefore