Now, we cannot but think this is a great mistake. So much sickness and suffering may, we are convinced, be prevented by kindling a small fire every night and morning, that all pleasure in the beauty of fresh, pretty-colored grates and fireplaces is lost in the knowledge of the price paid for it. A well blackened grate has more attractions for us, as it speaks of dry rooms, rosy cheeks, and good health, whereas unused and spotless bricks tell of rheumatism, chills and fever, and pale, sallow faces.
We first learned the great importance of these morning and evening fires at the West, and should have been thankful to have learned it by an easier way than through the rough school of experience. What was a good theory and better practice in the new Western life is equally beneficial in any locality where cool nights and mornings precede and follow each day, or where sudden changes from dry to damp or rainy weather may be expected. It is not at all necessary or wise in warm weather to build large fires that will heat a room. Only so much is needed as will suffice to dispel the chill damp of the atmosphere, of which one is usually conscious on entering a room early in the morning or soon after nightfall. A few sticks of light wood or a small fagot of brush will suffice. In the city it is not always easy to find material for this purpose; but in the country, whether in an old place or new, there is no difficulty, and no excuse for neglect. Small sticks, and any quantity of brush, from constantly needed repairs or pruning, are always scattered about, which, if not daily gathered up, will soon accumulate, till heaps of unsightly rubbish will meet the eye at every turn. If only for the sake of neatness, and to save time, all this should be daily removed. It is not much labor, and a very short time is sufficient. If you have young boys or girls with you, rightly trained to be useful, an hour or two of outdoor labor will give them pleasant and healthful occupation. Provide them with a child’s saw-horse and saw, a small, light hatchet, and a ball of strings, and let them daily go out and collect such brush as may be lying around. Show them how to cut it in proper lengths, and to tie the fagots neatly. Then they can easily, with a light wheelbarrow, take them to the wood-house or shed, and pile them ready for use. A half-hour’s or an hour’s work every day will do this, and the young folks will not feel it a burden. But if left a week or two, the brush becomes tangled, the heap grows larger, and what should be only pleasant recreation becomes a burden, perhaps really too heavy for children to undertake, and either a man’s time must be given to the work, or industry and labor be made repulsive to the young. That is also a great mistake. But by having this work regularly done, at certain hours daily, by your children, a threefold good may be gained: the house, grounds, and surroundings can be kept free from disagreeable litter; the means secured at the same time, with little labor and no cost, to preserve a healthful atmosphere all through the house; and your children taught a lesson in neatness and industry which they will not in after years forget, and which, whatever their position in life, will always be valuable.
While among the pines and palmettos in the newly settled parts of Florida, we looked with envious eyes on the “fat wood,” as it is called, which lies around the clearings in the greatest abundance. A few small sticks from these pine knots, at the first touch of a match, start into a wonderfully bright flame, before which, while it lasts, the light of our best kerosene lamps is obscured, and the morning and evening dampness is expelled, so that comfortable but not heated air is secured. We were pleased to see in these brilliant fires, regularly kindled, strong proof of good common-sense.
We believe full half the sickness which abounds in newly settled countries or in malarial districts could be entirely prevented by this easy, simple practice. At any rate, it would certainly be quite as effectual as the innumerable and abominable doses which each section of country accepts as the only cure; and it would have the advantage of being a pleasant remedy, warranted not to produce some disease far worse than the first.
Another great mistake is the exclusion of sunlight from our houses. We have spoken of this some time since, and wish the importance of admitting the light of the sun freely, as well as building these early and late fires, could be properly impressed upon our housekeepers. No article of furniture should ever be brought to our homes too good or too delicate for the sun to see all day long. His presence should never be excluded, except when so bright as to be uncomfortable to the eyes. And a walk in good, bright sunlight, before the heat is too intense, is very beneficial, so that the eyes are protected by veil or parasol when the light is inconveniently strong. A sun-bath is of far more importance in preserving a healthful condition of the body than is generally understood. A sun-bath costs nothing, and that is a misfortune, for people are deluded with the idea that those things only can be good or useful which cost money. But remember that pure water, fresh air, sunlight, and homes kept free from dampness, will secure you from many heavy bills of the doctors, and give you health and vigor, which no money can procure. It is a well-established fact that people who live much in the sun are usually stronger and more healthy than those whose occupations deprive them of sunlight.
XLVII.
STUDY TO MAKE HOME ATTRACTIVE.
IN planning and furnishing a house, young people too often sacrifice true taste and their own conscience for style; forgetting that they should arrange a home for comfort, not for a temple of fashion. So large a portion of the money set apart for the whole outlay is expended in adorning their parlors,—the only part of a house which is, in a measure, public property,—that they are compelled to cheat themselves out of much comfort and convenience, when they come to the furnishing of the real home, or family rooms, unless possessed of wealth so abundant that expense becomes a secondary consideration. We think the family sitting and dining rooms should receive more thought and care than any other part of the house. Neatness, of course, should be preserved everywhere, and the parlors be furnished with as much of style and fashion as your means will warrant your expending to meet your own desires, or in deference to public opinion, if you are at all inclined to cater to its gratification. In your chambers study neatness and convenience, and also in the kitchen; but when you turn to the sitting and dining rooms, give yourself abundance of time to deliberate over everything connected with these apartments, and, after due consideration, begin the work, which, if rightly understood, will be a toil of pleasure,—a labor of love, never ending; because every week some pretty device or fanciful change or addition will occur to you, by which you can add to its simple attractions, thereby giving yourself great pleasure, and filling your heart with happy thoughts. From the tone of the letter and question prompting this chapter, we should not class its writer with those who desire a position among the “fashionables,” whose greatest pleasure lies in parties, balls, and theaters, or a ceaseless round of “calls,” and who would be made perfectly miserable if compelled by any circumstance to pass a quiet evening at home, with nobody but their husband. For such there is no home. That word belongs to an unknown tongue, which their hearts can never interpret.
We are not at all in sympathy with those who take it for granted that the husband is always the most to be blamed, if the club house or any outside companionship has more attractions than his own home. When the “twain are made one flesh,” if the union is consummated through love, and not from mercenary reasons, the heart of the husband will be drawn most naturally, in his leisure hours, toward the companion he has chosen from all others; and in these early days it rests chiefly with her to make all the surroundings of the home committed to her care so attractive that his steps turn thitherward, because nowhere else can he secure such true comfort and solid happiness. Having so begun, if you continue thus to cast your spells about him, here in this pleasant sitting-room, young wife, he will always prefer to spend his leisure hours where your skill and taste make it more bright and restful than any other resort can be. Now, in the earliest days of your wedded life, before other cares engross your time and thoughts, you have the opportunity to make home a word of sacred meaning, to learn its true nature yourself, and to gather around it associations that shall be lasting, and a safeguard through life.
It is not by the “great sacrifices,” or “heroic devotion,” which you speak of, that this blessing can be secured; but by little things—daily acts—the work must be begun and the building established on a firm foundation. Bear this in mind constantly while planning the room, selecting the furniture, and arranging the many trifles that, combined, make a sitting-room peculiarly attractive. Secure, if possible, a southern or eastern lookout, or both united. Select pictures that are homelike, even if not the elaborate work of some great artist; those do not always give the greatest pleasure. Flowers and vines about the room or in the windows add wonderfully to the cheerfulness of any room, and to this particularly. Have neat, white shades to exclude the sun partially during the mid-day hours, and outside blinds to keep curiosity from sharing your evening enjoyments. A book and piano are always desirable in a family room, even if you have a grand piano for your parlors. Select the easiest and most comfortable lounges and chairs, taking time to look in several manufactories before you decide; for hard, unyielding sofas and chairs are only fit for show or torture rooms. A commodious table for books, and gas or lamps, suitable for writing, with convenient drawers to hold all necessary writing-material, and your own work-stand in the corner, are essential. These are always useful and convenient; but it is not needful that we go into elaborate specifications. Your own taste and love, if you set about the work in the right spirit, will teach you better than any one else can do. Arrange the necessary articles and all the embellishments with care and thought, so that when you stand at the door and survey the work, the room shall lie before you like a picture, speaking of cheerfulness, rest, and comfort. Here, if you show your husband, from the first, that you are always interested in his outside labors and duties, he will gladly come to talk over the day’s doings; and it will not take long to teach him that a good, true wife is the best adviser he can have,—that his business knowledge and your womanly insight and tact, united, will solve dubious questions, and unravel troublesome tangles, quite as safely and far more pleasantly than any assistance and advice sought outside of home. And in after life, think you, will it not be pleasant to look back and trace much of your happiness to the fascinations and attractions you so skillfully gathered about the pleasant sitting-room, when you, as “young people,” took sweet counsel together, and laid the foundation for mutual confidence and true domestic peace? Had you secured the most elegant parlors, but left this room cold and barren, negligently kept, and destitute of any special attraction, do you think your prospects of happiness would have been as bright? Or can you feel that you would deserve that they should be? It is your work, young wife, to make the home. Your husband may provide and furnish the means, but it is for you to see that they are used for mutual happiness.
Next to the sitting-room, the dining-room must be the most carefully arranged. Strange how few give heed to this! It is sometimes a low, dark, ill-constructed room, reached by stairs often unsafe by reason of darkness, and usually opening so abruptly to the kitchen that the appetite is destroyed the moment you enter by the fumes from cooking which have been gathering in the dining-room all the morning; and the pleasant intercourse which should enliven each meal is often sadly interrupted by overmuch talking from the adjacent kitchen. If there ever is dispute or misfortune there, it seems always destined to occur while you are at your table. Our city dining rooms are too frequently after this pattern. Here is some excuse; for we must expect, in one way or another, to be “cabined, cribbed, and confined” in the city; but in the free, bright country, there can seldom be any such excuse given, and yet the same heedlessness with regard to anything pleasant in the position of the dining-room is noticeable. Opening into a back yard or clothes-yard, or overlooking the barn-yard, with nothing attractive or cheerful,—this is thought good enough for a place to feed in. A very great mistake; for here we should meet, not to eat hastily, and rise up and go our ways, but there should be quite as much enjoyment in free and cheerful conversation at the table as can possibly be secured during the mere act of eating. A friend occasionally drops in; and when children are gathered about the board, their little winning ways and delightful prattle add wonderfully to the pleasure of the repast. Our American men, when actively engaged in business, as a large proportion of them are, often find the breakfast and dinner hours the only parts of the day when they can see their children. It is time little folks were asleep, generally, before the father closes his labors and returns home for tea. For that reason, if for no other, the dining-room, in every family, as being the place where, except on Sunday, the children will have the best opportunity of seeing their father, should be made bright, cheerful, and peculiarly attractive; because it will be more closely associated in their minds with his presence. As they grow older, they should be taught to give their aid in arranging fruit and flowers for the decoration of the table and side-board before each meal, “because papa will soon be here.”