“John, take your arms off the table.” The child raises his eyes to his father, and sees one arm laid on the table before him, the other supporting his head, with the elbow on the table, while administering this reproof.
“James, how often must I tell you to ask for what you want, and not reach for it across the table?”
A few minutes after, James sees his reprover reaching to the full stretch of his arm, supplemented by the fork from his own plate, and pick up a potato, piece of bread, or meat, at the farther end of the table.
“O child, will you never learn to eat without smacking your lips and making such a disagreeable noise? It makes one sick to hear you!”
The child has been watching the parent while eating, and trying hard to imitate the genuine gourmand’s smack which he hears from the head of the table.
“I am astonished! Why do you take the bread from the plate with your fingers and toss it in that manner to your sister? Never let me see you guilty of such rudeness again!”
Now, children are quick to see mistakes and discrepancies in the conduct of their elders, or those who have the rule over them. It does not require many years for them to mark how inconsistent such training is. Naturally children are not very fond of rules and regulations; they like freedom of action as well as their elders; and if they see that what is called rude and ill-mannered in a child is the daily practice of those whom they are expected to look up to, is it strange that they take every possible opportunity to transgress these precepts, so strangely nullified by parental example? They are always reaching forward to something beyond their present condition. If father or mother does such and such things, which are denied to the young son or daughter, of course they long for the same privilege; because if their parents do thus, it must be something smart, the imitation of which brings them nearer to manhood and womanhood, and farther from childhood, from which latter period all children are eager to hasten away. Then, if this is so,—and we think every observing parent has found it to be true,—is it not important that the rules which are laid down to secure good morals and good manners in the children should be considered of sufficient importance to regulate the practice of the parents; and should not the deviations from them, on the part of the elders, be few,—or, better yet, none?
LII.
TRUE TASTE MORE EFFECTIVE THAN MONEY.
MANY imagine they must relinquish all hopes of gratifying their tastes, or the inherent love of the beautiful, if they do not rank among the rich. This is an entirely false idea. There are houses upon which thousands of dollars have been expended, that would be quite intolerable to people of real refinement as a permanent residence. The whole arrangement and furniture are so stiff and formal, so heavy and oppressive with superfluous ornament, that simple curiosity to see what strange vagaries can enter into the heads of the rich, and in what absurd manner they study to spend their abundant wealth, would seem to be the only motive which could tempt a sensible person to enter.
On the other hand we find small, modest cottages, which bear unmistakable evidence of the necessity of close economy, which have far more of real comfort and convenience about them than those splendid mansions, and at the same time they are gems, bearing in every part the stamp of true elegance and refinement. They are so beautified by the genuine taste and ingenuity of the occupants, that it is real pleasure to pass from one room to another, or sit quietly and enjoy the sweet enchantment; yet money had little to do toward securing such attractions. It is the fitness of things, the harmonious blending of shape and color, the adaptation of the furniture to the wants of each apartment, that make the whole combination so peculiarly delightful. And yet, how and from what was all this tasteful furnishing constructed? If some of those persons, whose dark and gloomy parlors are hung with the costliest damask, and their furniture carved and upholstered by the most skillful and fashionable workmen, should, by chance, find themselves in one of these pleasant homes, they could not help being captivated by the spirit of the place, in spite of the absence of style or fashion. The elegant, airy, graceful parlors, the rest, the peace and comfort which pervade the whole atmosphere, would be to them a new experience; and what would be their astonishment to learn with how little expense all this, which they acknowledge to be so refreshing, has been secured!