It is painful to glance into rooms in daily use, and see no indication that a moment’s thought has ever been bestowed upon their adornment, or to fill them with objects that, to the children’s eyes, will unite grace and beauty with usefulness for the family’s every-day life. “O, this will answer! It’s good enough just for our own family.” But look into the guest-chamber, for which enough has been expended to compel pinching in all that belongs to home and family comforts, and all for the ostentatious display of hospitality! When you see such incongruities and contrasts between the furnishing of the family apartments and the “spare room,” you will find the same rule runs through everything connected with the family. For every day use the commonest kind of delf, with odd bits of broken or defaced china, mismated cups and saucers, of every variety of color, and the food carelessly prepared, and of the poorest and cheapest quality, showing the same unwise disregard for family comfort. But let a visitor appear, and the table is dazzling with silver and cut-glass, and loaded with dainties over which the utmost skill in cooking has been expended. This is all wrong. Home should be first, company of secondary importance. Let your family always have the best you can reasonably afford; then cordially welcome your friends to share the good and pleasant things with you. It is not easy to teach children to love home, and prefer its society to all others, if they see that all the good and pleasant and beautiful things you possess are only to be used when you have visitors. You have no right to hope that your children will have good manners or be refined, if they see only the coarsest of everything when alone with you, but are called upon, with company, to put on company manners. Love of home, refinement, and good manners are blessings that will rust out and be destroyed, if not brightened by constant daily use.
But we have wandered out of the guest-chamber, and will now return. Because we urge that the family apartments should have the first claim, we would not be understood that no thought should be given to the room your friends will occupy; we only claim that it should not be paramount to all others. Select the furniture with such care and taste as your means will allow. It is not necessary that one should be rich to do this in the most perfect manner. Be sure that the bed is comfortably made, and at all times scrupulously clean. If used only for one night by one person, all the linen should be changed for every new-comer. A white spread, even if not of the best and heaviest, is always an improvement for any bed. Have a spare blanket neatly folded and laid across the foot of the bed, unless you have a closet in the room; then it is a protection from dust to put it there. A low easy-chair or rocker is always desirable, for a lady friend may bring a young infant with her; then, if in accordance with, your ability, furnish easy-chairs or a lounge, but no bedchamber should be crowded with furniture.
A table with a drawer, or small neat writing-desk, with an inkstand, a few pens, paper, and envelopes, are desirable, as friends often come unexpectedly, and neglect to bring the needed articles. To find such conveniences ready at hand will be taken as a kindly attention, which is among the little things that make a guest-chamber homelike.
A brush and comb, a cushion and pins, should be kept on every bureau, and the “spare room” is no exception to this rule. In this room one or two bureau drawers should be left open for the use of guests. The comb and brush, like those in other chambers, should be washed every week if used, or after every new occupant. A few drops of ammonia, put into a little soap and water, will cleanse a brush easily; rinse well in clear water, and stand it up to dry. For the washstand, good soap, plenty of towels, and a nail-brush should be provided. The water-pitcher must be kept filled; a water-bottle, with a glass turned over it, or a decanter with a stopper, is better for drinking water than a pitcher, as water left exposed to the air in a sleeping-room soon becomes impure and unwholesome. A slop pail or jar is needed by the side of the washstand, unless the wash-basins are set to be filled from the pipes, and emptied by the waste-pipe. A match-box, filled, is always an important article in every room, and a little basket or cornucopia is needed to hang by the glass, into which the hair from the comb and burnt matches may be put. This should be emptied when the slops are taken away; but hair must never be thrown in the sink, as it clogs the pipes; always burn it.
Of course, when there is no necessity for close economy, there are a thousand elegances with which it is perfectly proper to beautify, not only the family rooms, but the guest-chamber; but the things here specified are convenient and some really necessary for all sleeping-rooms, and can be procured or made by home ingenuity. Beautify and enrich the guest-room as lavishly as good taste and your ability will allow, only let the family chamber be not neglected for that purpose.
LXII.
THE CARE OF INFANTS.
“ARE our little ones so related to household cares, that Mrs. Beecher will give young mothers, now and then, a few words of instruction on the management of infants? I am a young mother as well as young housekeeper, and although not very competent, I, and probably many others, could easier work our way unaided to a respectable standing in all that pertains to the manual labor of the household, than risk mistakes in the care and training of our babies. I think the little ones very necessary to the formation of a true household, and am ready to accept any care and annoyance, if I may only be certain that I am not giving my strength for naught, but so that in these early days I may be enabled to ward off illness, and keep my baby healthy and vigorous. It is usually happy and quiet; but there are times when mind and body are taxed to the utmost limit of my endurance. It often has spells of crying, when no skill which I possess can soothe the disturbance, whatever may be the cause, or lull the little one to sleep. In no way, either by medical advice or the exercise of my own judgment, can I discover the cause, or find any indication which would show the child to be unhealthy.”
We most certainly consider the little ones very peculiarly a part of “The Household” department, and will cheerfully give any assistance to young mothers that is within our power. We have before this been called upon to answer similar questions, and see no reason to change the answers we have felt to be correct.
Young mothers are frequently told, we think very unwisely, “You have no cause for anxiety. Most infants either have their crying spells until they are three months old, or are very quiet and serene up to that period, and then change and cry, and are restless most of the time till some months later.” Believing this, the young mother tries to possess her soul in patience, and struggles on, waiting for the good time coming. But we think there is always some definite cause for a trouble which robs the mother for months of a large portion of the pleasure her infant should bring her, and makes the new world into which the little pilgrim has just entered so truly “a vale of tears.” The cause once ascertained, there must be some remedy found, through the large experience of so many mothers who have been harassed and perplexed by similar trials.
Often kind friends manifest their affection and interest injudiciously through their anxiety to see the new-comer, when both mother and child would be much safer for a few days of perfect, uninterrupted quiet. In the early days when an infant should be forming the habit of long naps, and at regular times, and when the mother should be kept from any excitement, these friendly calls begin, and each caller has great curiosity just to look at the new baby, or just to wake it one moment to see whose eyes it has borrowed. This incense offered to maternal pride is too mighty, and the mother’s judgment bows down before it. If she allows this foolish innovation once, she must twice, and soon a restless habit is formed, and short naps and long cries may be expected. It takes but two or three such friendly visits in the course of one day, to excite the child so that sleep becomes impossible; and then, although it is not needing food, when all other means fail to quiet it, what more natural than to put it to the breast? But broken rest and nursing too frequently will assuredly cause pain, and crying will, of course, be the result. In such cases, no remedy may be hoped for until those to whom the child is committed, and who alone should be responsible for forming its habits, have learned that sound judgment and good common-sense must be their guides in the care of their helpless little ones, and not maternal pride.