Even those daughters who are fresh from the wise instructions of a mother, who led them with her through a daily round of cares until they are as skillful in domestic management as she is herself, will not find, when they enter the marriage state, the duties of their new homes exactly like those of their mother. Many things may, and doubtless will, compel a somewhat different administration, although the fundamental principles will be still the same. The husband’s position may demand change in the mode of proceedings to which she has, from childhood, been accustomed. His tastes or means may render it advisable that the wife should modify or enlarge her rules for the performance of domestic duties. The desired change may, from necessity, or from whims, which for permanent happiness she will be wise to humor, be so abrupt and entire as to require almost a new mode of action and labor, calling for much deliberation before it can be perfectly satisfactory; and of course this will be almost like commencing an education from the beginning.
Different homes and diverse tastes demand, and justly, to be regulated on somewhat different plans. New duties, and new modes of performing them, are opened to the young housekeeper, however efficient she may have been in all domestic affairs under her mother’s eye; but this should be no reason for discouragement or self-reproach. Put the mother in the daughter’s place, and she might find it equally strange, and no easier to rearrange her code of laws for domestic labor, only so far as age and longer experience has taught her more wisdom and greater facility in regulating household affairs. But whatever the style or position, there is none, however high or low, that is not improved and the work simplified by systematic arrangement. Let each day of the week have its own peculiar work, modified or varied, of course, by changes which cannot be foreseen,—such as sickness, absence of part of the family, unexpected company, invited guests, or holidays.
And here let us say, it is desirable, when you invite friends to dinner or tea, that you choose such days as are the least filled with work which cannot be well set aside,—such as washing, ironing, etc.,—so that you may take time for entertaining your guests, without the burden of feeling that you are compelled to leave for to-morrow the work that should have been done to-day, and, by so doing, to lay up for yourself too heavy burdens and unsettle the regular course of labor for the rest of the week.
We do not propose to give rules for any one. That would be quite impossible, as so much depends on the taste of the master and mistress, the number of the family, and of the servants employed. But there are a few things which, in our opinion, will make the work easier, and increase the comfort of all concerned. For instance, on Saturday all the clothes for changes should be laid out, so that the Sabbath may find us arrayed in spotless garments. And this being done, as all the soiled clothes are ready, it would seem that Monday must, almost of necessity, be set apart as the established washing-day. Of course, if one has a laundry distinct from the kitchen, as soon as the washing and ironing of one week is finished, the range will be cleaned out, ashes brushed off, kindling laid, and floor scrubbed, all for the next week; and if everything is thus in order, it must be an uncommonly large family if the washing is not all done, clothes-lines and pins brought in, and, in winter, coarse clothes sprinkled and folded, in good time on Monday night. This should be Monday’s work, somewhat modified, perhaps, according to the help employed in this department. When two or three girls are employed in one house, as we have before said, we do not think it the most comfortable way for the cook to take charge of the washing. Let her help, if necessary, as she may find time; but if she first performs her regular duties, the family will be more comfortable; and if the second girl has charge of the washing, the clothes will, or should be, more satisfactorily done by one steady hand. Let Tuesday be for ironing. Wednesday the chambermaid and laundress will need for cleaning the laundry and halls, wiping off finger-marks from doors, and any chamber-work which did not receive particular attention Monday or Tuesday. The cook will need by Wednesday to clean up her tins, floors, closets, or if company or the family require, to do some extra cooking. On Thursday the silver should be carefully looked over and polished by chamois-skin, after washing in hot soapsuds, or with whiting if any brown spots are found. Friday is the best day for sweeping, and seeing that mattresses and bedsteads are free from dust; which, if left to accumulate, will breed moths and other vermin. Saturday may be employed in cleaning parlors, washing windows, polishing door-handles, bell-pulls, and stair-rods, and a thorough oversight of the house generally.
These items are only by way of suggestions, to be filled up or discarded as the housekeeper’s judgment, taste, or position may deem advisable. We only claim that, having once examined and become fully persuaded in your own mind what your position and the comfort of your family demand, you should settle upon some well-considered plan, and then determine to carry it into practice, as far as possible, with promptness and regularity. Take time to consider; try, and try again; but having settled what is best, act upon it without flinching.
LXXIV.
SHOPPING.
WE have heard from ladies remarks like the following: “Before I was married, and cares and responsibilities became more and more exacting every year, there was nothing I used to enjoy more than roaming from shop to shop, seeing everything that was to be seen, but without the responsibility of purchasing, because my mother always attended to that. My shopping in those days was only to gratify curiosity. But now it must be done in earnest, without shopping for sight-seeing or loitering,—the only desirable part of the business.”
Now, I cannot but think this waste of time and gratification of a childish curiosity in young women altogether wrong. The amount of “shopping,” as it is called, done from no necessity, but only to while away the time, is very great, particularly by young ladies who have no intention of purchasing. While there are books to be read, sewing to be done, mothers to be helped, and their burdens lightened by their daughters’ loving care, and painting, drawing, and music to be practiced, we don’t understand how time can hang heavy on one’s hands. Pleasant walks and rides, lectures, concerts, and picture-galleries, can surely furnish all the exercise and recreation that is needed or at all desirable, and will be much more conducive to the improvement of the mind and strengthening of the body than this too prevalent custom of sauntering through the streets, gazing into the windows, or visiting the stores, looking at and handling everything one fancies, but buying nothing. Many evils spring from this absurd method of taking exercise, or wasting time. There can be no healthy exercise in loitering in a crowded and perhaps ill-lighted, poorly ventilated store; for capacious, airy, and well-ventilated establishments are not common. The effect of such dissipation on the mind and character cannot be ennobling. To watch and criticise the people who pass, to remark on their dress, manners, and peculiarities, is almost certain to establish an unkind, censorious habit, and, in the end, make those who practice it confirmed gossips,—the most unlovable and unsafe of all characters. A love of dress; a desire to imitate or surpass those who are the most extravagant in their outlays; an envious disposition; dissatisfaction with their own condition and the income allowed for their dress; longing to cast aside good clothes and secure the newest and most stylish, every time the shopping farce is performed,—are some of the evils which, it is to be feared, will grow out of this propensity; and added to this, another still more to be deprecated,—the selfish disregard for the feelings and interests of others.
It is painful to observe with what recklessness our young ladies will sit at a counter and call for one piece of goods after another, until the shelves before them are almost entirely stripped,—tossing one article here and another there, throwing heavy goods upon delicate articles, while the perplexed clerk endeavors to hide his anxiety, and shield his wares from harm, in the most gentlemanly and unobtrusive manner; but his politeness and delicacy are wasted, for this class of shoppers care little for the discomfort of a clerk.
In this manner they flit from counter to counter, wasting not only their own time, but that of the employés in the store, and exciting false hopes of a good sale, and then, without a word of apology for the trouble they have given, leave that store to go through the same folly at other establishments.