He put the subdued question so pointedly, and there was so wistful an expression of reproach in his face that she felt confused. Sir William came up close, and took her hands.
"You know what I have come for," he cried, his voice hoarse with agitation. "I should have come a week ago but that it was the period of your deep mourning. Oh, Mary! let it be with us as it used to be! There can be no happiness for me in this world apart from you. Since the day of my father's death I have never ceased to--to--I had almost said to curse the separation that he forced upon us; or, rather to curse my weakness in yielding to it. Oh, my darling, forgive me!--my early and only love, forgive me I Come to me Mary, and be my dear wife!"
The tears were running down her face. Utterly unnerved, feeling how entirely the old love was holding sway in her heart, she let her hands lie in his.
"I am not rich, as you know, Mary; but we shall have enough for comfort. Your position at least, as Lady Blake Gordon, will be assured, and neither of us cares for riches. Our tastes are alike simple. Do you remember how we both used to laugh at undue parade and show?"
"Hush, William! Don't tempt me."
"Not tempt you! My dear one, you must be mine. It was a sin to separate us: it would be a worse sin to prolong the separation now that impediments are removed."
"I cannot turn back," she said. "I have cast my lot in here, and must abide by it. I--I--seem to see--to see more surely and clearly day by day as the days go on"--she could scarcely speak for agitation--"that God Himself has led me to this life; that He is showing me hour by hour how to be more useful in it. I may not quit it now."
"Do you recall the fact, Mary, that your father gave you to me? It was his will that we should be man and wife. You cannot refuse to hear my prayer."
None knew, or ever would know, what that moment was to Mary Ursula: how strong was the temptation that assailed her; how cruelly painful to resist it. But, while seductive love showed her the future, as his wife, in glowing colours, reason forbade her yielding to it. Argument after argument against it crowded into her mind. She had cast in her lot with these good ladies; she had made the poor patient community, struggling before with need and privation, happy with her means. How could she withdraw those means from them? She had, in her own heart, and doing it secretly as to Christ, taken up her cross and her work in this life that she had entered upon. When she embraced it, she embraced it for ever: to turn away from it now would be like a mockery of Heaven. Involuntarily there arose in her mind a warning verse of Holy Writ, strangely applicable. She thought it might almost have been written for her; and a breathed word of silent prayer went up from her heart that she might be helped and strengthened.
"You know, Mary, that Mr. Peter Castlemaine----"