OLD-FASHIONED DINNER
| 1. | A country in Asia | Turkey |
| 2. | A color and a letter | Gravy |
| 3. | Cape Cod fruit and impudence | Cranberry Sauce |
| 4. | A river in Italy, an Irish woman's beverage, and "the five little pigs that went to market" | Potatoes |
| 5. | A parent and cuttings | Parsnips |
| 6. | Reverse and small bites | Turnips |
| 7. | Time measures | Beets |
| 8. | An Indian's wife and an interjection of silence | Squash |
| 9. | Well or badly brought up | Bread |
| 10. | A goat | Butter |
| 11. | A letter | Tea |
| 12. | A crowd of people in a small place | Jam |
| 13. | Mixed-up type | Pie |
| 14. | Two of a kind | Pears |
| 15. | A receptacle for fluids and a letter | Candy |
| 16. | A crow's call and a doctor's payment | Coffee |
| 17. | Ancient tales | Chestnuts |
| 18. | What I do to be heard | Ice cream |
OLD-TIME COUNTRY SCHOOL
(Can be used as a play.)
"The Red Schoolhouse will open for the fall term on September fifteenth. As a goodly number of pupils is desired, all receiving this are urged to search the highways and byways for others who may wish to attend. School will begin promptly at eight. As there will be a recess, all pupils should bring their dinners.
"SOLOMON WISEACRES, Pedagogue."
The coming of school-days, usually so much dreaded by young folks, was hailed with much delight by recipients of the above notice. On the appointed evening not only were there present the members of the society, but each one, heeding the injunction regarding the highways and byways, brought with him a friend. As the teacher had also found an extra pupil, there were just twenty-four in the party. The boys wore knee-trousers and the girls short skirts and pinafores, with their hair hanging down their backs in long braids or curls. All brought with them their dinners, packed in tin pails, in imitation of their country cousins.
The schoolhouse was a large new barn, the schoolroom being up-stairs in the hay-loft. Here were arranged two rows of benches, one for the girls and one for the boys; blackboards hung on the walls, and there was a plain wooden table in front for the teacher's desk. Standing behind this, the schoolmaster, birch rod in hand, and looking very wise in a pair of huge spectacles, received his pupils and registered their names in a large book before him. Among those enrolled were Alvira Sophronia Simmons, Malvina Jane Leggett, Serena Ann Wilkins, Patience Charity Gray, Nathan Bartholomew Brown, Ichabod Thompson and Abijah Larkins.
Each pupil before being assigned a seat was interrogated by the teacher somewhat as follows: In what state and country were you born? Do you know your letters? How far can you count? Who was the first man? Who built the ark? And so on until the teacher had acquainted himself with the limits of his pupils' ignorance.
When all were seated Teacher Wiseacres announced that school would open with singing. The pupils were thereupon thoroughly drilled in the scales and other exercises, the master severely reprimanding any who sang out of tune. The lesson concluded with songs usually sung at the club gatherings, after which a knot of blue ribbon was given the one who had sung best, and a red bow to the pupil considered second best.
During the course of this lesson, and also of those that followed, there were frequent interruptions caused by the refractory behavior of some of the pupils. Serena Ann Wilkins was caught eating an apple, and was made to stand up in front with a book on her head. Malvina Jane Leggett had to stand in the corner facing the wall for giggling; while, direst disgrace of all, Abijah Larkins was obliged to sit on the girls' side for drawing a caricature of the master on the blackboard.