Helping oneself.
On this very point of helping himself I have seen young men endure excruciating agonies of shyness. Sometimes they take the merest morsel of some excellent dish, though they would like very well to have some more. At other times they help themselves to far too much, because they are so confused that they will not take the necessary time to separate for their own share a moderate quantity. Occasionally they drop the spoon or fork with a clatter into the dish, after which they look intensely miserable for ten minutes or so.
A useful reflection.
The best way to avoid all this is to preserve absolute self-possession by reflecting that the other guests are all too well occupied to pay any attention to such trifling matters. The self-consciousness of which shyness is the outward and visible sign, makes a young man feel that every one is observing him, especially when he is awkward in handling things. But he may console himself with the conviction that he is of much less importance to them than their own dinner, to say nothing of the ladies who sit beside them.
When asked to choose between claret or hock, he may either mention one or indicate the glass.
The order of the wines.
“Sherry, sir,” is the first wine handed round. Then comes the choice between claret and hock.
Indicating.
Afterwards “champagne, sir?” usually answered by slightly drawing the champagne-glass forward, or by a nod; sometimes by a shake of the head.
Thanking servants.